Be Your Own Hero with Caroline Rakus-Wojciechowski
Show Notes:
Normalizing concussion experiences can help minimize the feeling of being alone for other survivors. Our guest today is Caroline Rakus-Wojciechowski. Caroline is a passionate young professional and global citizen in the field of international education and international development. She is a champion for Global Youth Empowerment and well-being and has represented several organizations as a youth ambassador over the years to conferences held by the World Bank International Organization for Migration, UN-Habitat, UNESCO, IUCN, NATO, and Munich Security Conference Foundation.
Caroline suffered her first concussion in the midst of training for her first half marathon, working a full-time job and attending her classes part-time. Throughout her post-concussion journey, she built better habits and practices that will influence her long-term success. Join in on our discussion as we talk about Caroline’s concussion experience, why it’s important to extend grace to yourself in your healing journey, and how concussions impact our mental health. She leaves listeners with important takeaways and encouragements. Don’t miss out, so tune in today!
Update:
Since the episode was recorded, Caroline’s neurologists have told her that she’s recovered cognitively though she is still continuing physical therapy for her migraines & post-traumatic headaches in her neck and upper back. Caroline is also now trying Botox with neurology and needling at PT.
Key Points From This Episode:
Caroline takes us through some of her concussion experience.
She runs us through the different types of treatments and therapies she’s tried.
How the independence factor (or lack thereof) has impacted Caroline’s life.
The importance of taking a step back and saying ‘I can’t’ after a concussion.
Functioning with pain; when you just keep going.
Caroline talks about setting priority goals and how that helps her focus.
She shares how her concussion has impacted her mental health journey.
What she’s been doing to improve her mental health post-concussion.
The importance of normalizing post-concussion experiences.
Caroline leaves listeners with a few important points.
Connect with Caroline via LinkedIn
Join Concussion Connect Today!
We understand the need for a safe place to go separate from your regular social world, less overwhelming and more personal. Join Concussion Connect to have a place to share and get support along your survivor journey!
Though a place for survivors, we also welcome all loved ones and professionals who are out to learn more about this invisible injury.
Follow Post Concussion Inc on Social Media to stay up to date on the podcast
-
[INTRO]
[00:00:00] BP: Hi, everyone. I’m your host, Bella Paige. After suffering from Post-Concussion syndrome for years, it was time to do something about it. Welcome to the Post-Concussion Podcast, where we dig deep into life when it doesn’t go back to normal. Be sure to share the podcast and join our support network Concussion Connect. Let’s make this invisible injury become visible.
[DISCLAIMER]
[00:00:32] BP: The Post Concussion Podcast is strictly an information podcast about concussions and post-concussion syndrome. It does not provide, nor substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it, because of something you have heard on this podcast. The opinions expressed in this podcast are simply intended to spark discussion about concussions and post-concussion syndrome.
[EPISODE]
[00:01:14] BP: Welcome to episode number 89 of the Post Concussion Podcast with myself, Bella Paige. Today's guest, Caroline Rakus-Wojciechowski. Caroline is a passionate young professional and global citizen in the field of international education and international development. Caroline earned her bachelor's degree in Anthropology from Harvard University in 2018, and is currently a graduate student at the George Washington University Graduate School of Education and Human Development. She is also a champion for Global Youth Empowerment and well-being and has represented several organizations as a youth ambassador over the years to conferences held by the World Bank International Organization for Migration, UN-Habitat, UNESCO, IUCN, NATO and Munich Security Conference Foundation.
Caroline suffered her first concussion in the midst of training for her first half marathon, working a full-time job and attending her classes part time, not knowing just how many changes she would need to make to her lifestyle made it difficult to cope with it first. She accepted that she needed to slow things down to allow her body to heal. She also realized how beneficial her new habits and practices were to her overall well-being in mental health. Throughout her post-concussion journey, she built better habits and practices that will influence her long-term success. Welcome to the show, Caroline.
[00:02:37] CRW: Thank you, Bella. Great to be here.
[00:02:39] BP: To start, you want to take us back through some of your concussion experience?
[00:02:44] CRW: Yeah. So it was back in June of 2022. I was driving to New York City for going away party, some of my friends were moving out of the city. I was on the I95 driving up from DC. I was about 45 minutes away, when all of a sudden the car in front of me started braking. Then I started braking. The car behind me did not get the memo. Then a fourth car also collided into us. Me being the primary source of impact, I just whiplashed my head around and then was subsequently, in shock for, I think the next 50 minutes, that's 5-0. Fortunately for me, there was an off-duty captain from the state during that whole accident who happened to witness the events. After obviously checking if I was okay, the first words out of his mouth were it's not your fault. It's not your fault. I’m like, “Okay, okay, that should be reassuring me right now.”
[00:03:41] BP: Thank you.
[00:03:42] CRW: Yeah, right. It's like the first experience of an accident I've ever had, because of the shock, like any physical symptoms didn't really set in until later that weekend and really, when I went home that following Monday. There was just a lot to process. Then in the weeks after, that's really when all the like muscular and joint pain started coming out. A lot of it in my right shoulder, which subsequently I had to wind up getting PT for, a lot in my neck, which ah-ha, Whiplash that makes sense for that diagnosis. It just changed my whole life, I think, because all of a sudden, I was so lethargic. I couldn't focus on any of the work.
I was a full-time employee at the time. It was summer, so I didn't have grad school at the time, but it just became harder and harder to focus during work. I think in that week, right after the accident, I had a 30-minute blackout where I know I was doing work, but what I was doing I couldn't tell you. So that just became like my first month trying to get everything back to normal, but silly me, because I never had a concussion before. I thought it would be over a lot faster than in reality it was, because one month later I tried running and subsequently had the worst migraine of my life and a lot of nausea and vomiting that evening. Lesson learned, a couple months later, when my neurologist told me, “Oh, yeah. I know you're in for another seven to nine months of this.” Yeah, I know, it was really scary and frustrating, and both physically and emotionally painful, I would say that about sums up my immediate experience.
[00:05:30] BP: Yeah. I like how you said shock for so long, but I get it. I've never thankfully have never been in a car accident, to this date. I've had close calls. One of the close calls was so bad that I shook the entire way home, like vibrated. I couldn't imagine if I actually was in the accident, like, life flashed before my eyes, like I was driving down the road and going, I don't know what it is 40 miles per hour. I live in Canada, so like 60. I'm like driving down the road and a school bus pulls out in front of me and like cut me off, but then they stopped and put out their sign to let kids off the bus. I had to hit the brakes as hard as I have ever hit them in my life. I like touched the bus with – and I like had a small SUV. I was like, “That would have been my fault.” But like, “You cut me off, and then you stopped.”
I've been cut off before, but at least if they're gaining momentum, that it's not so bad, because like you have more like the room in between you is getting bigger, they pulled out and hit the brakes and had to cut me off. I was like, only like two minutes from my house. I got home and my mom was there. I was just like, “Oh.” Like, I'm still vibrating from that. Totally get the shock. I am glad that they told you it wasn't your fault.
[00:06:52] CRW: Yeah, right.
[00:06:53] BP: You we're like in the mindset to hear it. The running thing is crazy that you're not the first one that's mentioned running was just like, “Oh, well, I'm really not okay.” Like it was like a go for a run. Now you really realize it. It surprises me, but at the same time running is one of the only activities I still don't do well with to this day. It's the up and down motion, which is crazy, because like my mom is a marathon runner. I feel like I should genetically be able to run and I cannot — the up and down, but I can ride a dirt bike, or all these types of things. I think it's just it's every step is back and forth like you're constantly jogging. Now I probably could like for years I tried to run and it was like the biggest symptom like everything would blow up, like you said. I'm just really happy your neurologist mentioned how long it could be until you get better, because like seven to nine months is a lot better than hearing it could be a few weeks.
[00:07:55] CRW: Yeah.
[00:07:55] BP: Because like, then those few weeks pass and then the anxiety sets in like, “I'm not better yet.” Where like if they at least give you a longer timeline right away, you're like, “Okay.” Like, we don't know if that's actually going to be accurate, but at least it's like, in a few weeks, you'll be better. So your life's like, oh, in a few weeks like, “I can handle a few weeks.” A few months is a lot better to hear about. Like in the long run. It's better to hear that.
[00:08:21] CRW: Oh, no. Like, I was on my own for the first two months. I had no idea what was going on. It just for one reason or another I couldn't get a neurology appointment until August and again the accident was in June. My silly self, tried doing it twice, but that's what worries me though, is because I was just getting into running for the first time in my life for whatever reason, I was always averse to it like I did track in high school, but I never thought it would be something long term for me, but then I started enjoying it and wouldn't you know, like right after, like, the first runner's high I'd ever had in my life, bang, there's the accident.
Even now, like, I'll be in cars, my friends will be driving, my boyfriend will be driving. I know they're safe drivers. They're good drivers. That one car will just come too close or like I don't know something will happen that'll just make my heart race and I'll just suddenly brace myself as though the impact is all of a sudden going to hit. It's still hard like even just being in a car is hard.
[00:09:21] BP: It’s crazy, because like it doesn't have to be like I always like to explain to people that like small things like minor PTSD and those kinds of anxiety type things don't always have to be super dramatic, like you were in a car accident, but like you got up and could walk. People are always picturing like these catastrophic moments and it's like, nope, just like I got up, but it was still like every time you're like, your body tenses up. What have you managed to try, now you met a neurologist? Have you tried any treatments and therapies? Did any of them help?
[00:09:56] CRW: Oh, I've run the gamut. I've had X-rays done, tests done, evaluations. I had a CT scan a couple of MRIs for brain and back. Those are a couple of the physical ones. I mentioned physical therapy for my right shoulder, which for like three months after the accident. I couldn't even lift above my head. I couldn't lift anything. Prior to this, my friends called me the camel, because I used to carry so many things. I think what's been most helpful has been brain training and neurofeedback. I happened to be really lucky to find this organization right near me where I live in Virginia. That neurologist has been super, super helpful. Unfortunately, he's retiring at the end of the year, but I will have finished my treatments with him by then.
I tried neurologists separate from that one, pain management specialists, regular therapy for the PTSD, like you said, and a bunch of medications ranging from ones that are going to help relieve my migraine headaches to relieving the muscle tension to just helping me sleep, but then also trigger point injections have been super helpful, because I think now, let's see, we're almost at December. Seven months later, the worst symptoms are still the migraine headaches, the lethargic behaviour, and these like, fortunately, it's not the spine that's actually in pain. It's the muscles surrounding the spine, but like the entirety of my back from neck all the way down to the lumbar. I feel bad, because my boyfriend is the best and he'll give me massages, but this is not sustainable long term.
[00:11:37] BP: That's super funny. This is not – I needed my personal masseuse to come to my house every day
[00:11:41] CRW: Can my insurance cover that, please?
[00:11:47] BP: I love that you found such a great facility. That's awesome. I think it's funny, your neurologist was retiring. Mine is retired. I also saw her for 10 years. It was really funny when I had like our last appointment. I was like, “This has been a long journey.” She's like, “I know.” She's like, “You haven't really.” She's like, “You've changed, but like, you're still like very intense.” I was like, “Yeah, I know.” Because like I had gone in, like, I would go in waves like I'd see her consistently like every month or every few months. Then I wouldn't see her for like a year, because I'd be like okay. The last time I saw her was, because I overdid it, and like needed to reevaluate things. She's like, “This isn't a shock anymore.” I was like, “Okay, I know.” I was like, “Thank you for telling me that it is not a shock that I am back.”
She's like, “You've always been an intense person. How about you learn how to live your intense life in any way that you can?” So like, she's like, “You're not going to change. Like, you always like having a ton on the go.” Like, I just joined an entire committee on running events, like, she's was like, because I'm even more, because I like planning and I love all this stuff. Like, constantly working with people, talking to people, managing stuff for the future, managing stuff now, so she's like, “This part of you is the one thing that has never changed from before your head injuries and after.” So like, “Now you have to learn how to like morph this into like somebody who's healed, but like, you're not 100%. Like how can we do this? Like, maintain it.” I spent the last like eight months doing that. It really did help like sometimes just that like someone telling me though like, “This is who you are. Stop trying to change it.” Because I was like, “Well, I'm trying to like, take a step back.” She's like, “Just stop.”
She's like, “You're not to take a step back type person. Like it's not how you work.” She's like, “How about you just like, if your body needs a day, give yourself the day. Like, don't push yourself to work through a ton of pain one day, just give yourself that one day. It's not going anywhere.” So just being able to do that has changed things like for the better in so many ways, but one thing –
[00:14:01] CRW: Teach me your ways.
[00:14:03] BP: Right. I’m like, tell people, I'm like, “This takes time.” Like I was taking my masters in neurology like, what are you doing? She’s like, “You're running a business full time and taking a masters, and like give me like the list.” I kept going. I was like, “Yeah. Okay.” I was like, so I cut some things for reprioritize. I have a new thing where every month at the beginning of the month I have a list of like the big projects. Like this is what we're doing this month, and we're not adding to it, if we come up with more ideas that is wonderful, but they are next month's problem. So that's really helped me like this month.
Right now the cookbook is coming out in January so this month is recordings for it for like Kickstarter, the whole Kickstarter landing page. All of that is getting done this month. Then some videos and I started courses, but like, the next month is something else like, I have the list. I like catch myself sometimes, because you get excited about projects and stuff and you're like, I'd rather work on that. It's like, no, steer back, steer back. It takes, like I said, like, these are habits I have built over time. Not overnight, but something a lot of people do deal with, after their concussion is, like myself, I was a crazy independent individual at 14. Like, was moving away from home already. So concussions changed that. I went from being able to do everything myself, even as a teenager and like getting on planes and leaving my parents. Like, didn't even think about it like, “Love you. Bye.”
All of a sudden, like I couldn't cook for myself. I would manage to like, if I managed to change that day, it was like a shock. It was like, a different pair of like sweatpants, like congrats. Like that type of stuff, so the independence part is really hard. We've had people on the podcast that have had to move back home, like for a few months or take a break from work, all these types of things. How has the independence part of this been for you?
[00:16:14] CRW: It's been rough. I’m not going to lie. I'd say it was maybe 2018 right after I graduated, where I first started being properly independent. By this, I mean I moved out of my parents’ home. I became 100% financially independent from them and just basically, it was me, myself and I. Like I looked out for myself and anything I succeeded in, it was a result of my hard efforts and anything that I failed in, or the results of my shortcomings, or poor planning ahead of time. Yeah, I know, it was, especially financially just such, such, such a struggle, because eventually, in September, I needed to leave work, because school had started again. I was a full-time student at George Washington. I was a full-time employee. I think like the second week in, and I just said to myself, I can't do this anymore. So I had to hand in my two weeks’ notice.
Even with all the medical claims and reimbursements that my car insurance has been so helpful with, it's just been a struggle, because then there's always the lag and paying you back. I got some of the money back for my car, but the other portion went to the lien holder and it just became a whole, whole mess. Right now I'm fortunately able to like live stably for like a couple more months, but it's just even with grad school been hard to maintain my old way of living, because like you, I always had to be doing something. The world is going down and I need to do something. I need to do my part to like try and make it better, which is why I went into international education.
I wanted to empower youth in any way that I could be helpful. Not in a white saviour way, but just I want to, I know I have X skills, let me help use those skills in a good way. So like really having this concussion and just having this brain fog and real fatigue, having all those symptoms stopped me from doing the things that I love to do from being that energetic, peppy person in the room, who's like, “Okay, how are we going to solve today's problem? Like, what are we going to do? What's the game plan?” It's been an ego hit, just because I thought I knew myself in X way. It's, as you said, like trying now to reconcile new Caroline and old Caroline.
It gets hard sometimes, and even just being crippled almost every day by those migraine headaches, just at least the first couple of hours of my day. Today we started recording at 11. I was like, okay, good, because anything before 11, I would have been out colds just in so much pain. Sometimes it does last all day. To your point, like I'll take the day. My professors have been super understanding if I need to turn an assignment in late, but it's just everything is starting to pile up, whether it's school assignments, or submitting those medical claims, or even navigating insurance now. I'm fortunate enough to be on Medicaid now. I qualify, but just calling all my doctors, “Do you accept X insurance? No. Oh, you don't take this particular managed care organization? Oh, okay. Well, let me go find a new PCP.” Or something like that. It just never ends. Then just, yeah, a couple of different places, car Accidents will count as a different allocation of health insurance and –
[00:19:53] BP: It’s just nightmare.
[00:19:55] CRW: It's a nightmare.
[00:19:56] BP: It is. It really is like, I'm really glad that's something I didn't have to deal with, but it's hard, because like, luckily I had a family with the financial means to help, because otherwise would have been a really long journey even longer than it was.
[00:20:10] CRW: Yeah. I know. They tell you, you're supposed to rest and not be surrounded by stress after a concussion. I don't think I'm quite doing that just yet.
[00:20:19] BP: That is fair. I think, I like things that like you do have to take a step back. Like, I can't. Like that has happened to me where it's like, “I can't do this.” That happened to me when I was doing my masters and this at the same time. I was like, “I can't.” Like, “I physically cannot.” Like, the readings were really long. Like they're like, I'm sure you know, like neuroscience readings were insane. Like the weekly packet not including classes was like a couple 100 pages. I was like, “Okay, my brain can't read a book. I'm doing this.” Like, let's think about this, like. Is this make sense? Then, like Post-Concussion Inc, just kept growing. I was like, “Okay, what do you want to do?” Like, for me, I started the neuroscience I was like, I want to do it, because I was like, well, who's going to want to listen to somebody who has just survived this? Like, and doesn't have a medical background. I was like, I need to get one.
That's why I started. I was like, “You know what, this is actually working out great without one.” Because I like, do have the background like I go to all the medical conferences and read all the papers. I was like, “You know what, I could just focus on helping people and sending them to the people with the medical background.” I was like, “This works great.” That took like an ego hit. I was like, “I can't do it all like. I can't be both, because it just doesn't work that way.” The brain fog is hard. The headaches are hard. Like I always talk like, my week is an accordion. If you take out a day, the accordion just gets smushed together. The stuff inside doesn't go anywhere. There isn't less to do.
Like, I had a headache this week for the first time in a while, like a real headache. Like I get cluster headaches, but that's for me, like something totally different. I had a regular headache. Of course, on Monday, I had to go into an office and help out. I was like, in the bright lights all day. I was like, so this headache is not going anywhere. Great. Then the next day, I had like a headache hangover. Like the headache is gone, but like, you're like, still not great the next day, you still feel off, you're like either nauseous or dizzy, or you try to work and nothing's getting done.
Those type of things like, are really hard to maintain a balance. All I thought about was like, how did you do this before? Like, I give credit to everyone who got to the point where I was at where like, you could be in severe pain and just kept going. Like, it's such a bad like, but it happens. Like that's what happened to me like the pain was always there. Eventually, you just get used to it. Like, as bad as that sounds, you're just like, I just function with this, because what else are you supposed to do? Like, you don't want to lay in bed all the time, when your body's forcing you to do that so much already, so you just keep going.
[00:23:10] CRW: That's exactly where I'm at right now. I mentioned earlier that my boyfriend will give me massages and he'll the very next day be like, “Did I just get this yesterday?” I'm like, “Yup.” It's been continuously bothering me and just growing worse in the last 24 hours. But you know something you said about – oh, my gosh. Of course, I'm forgetting it. The accordion. Things roll over into the next week. Eventually just you can't. I think there is something to be said about giving yourself that grace to take a day even though it's going to set you back, because use the all headwrap ice packs. I have like three of those one for the shoulder and neck and then one for the full spine back. Like I've invested in all the things and those have been helping me on top of like the specific medication for the headaches as well.
I think just giving yourself that grace just does wonders for your mental health too, because taking that time to one, just figure out what you want to do. Like, what is your goal? Like, what do you feel best about doing? What direction do you want to go? What are the steps that you need to achieve that? In a way the concussion has been like a blessing to me, because I know that I was just, I'm a very holistic person. That sounds nice from the outside. What it actually means is like, I'm so curious about everything that I want to like learn about everything. There's just like zero focus, but now because there's only so much that I can do within a day within a week, it'll actually help me tailor it down like, okay, like you said every month you set priority goals.
I do that every week, every day. Like okay, what do I need to get done today come hell or high water and how am I going to achieve that and how does that potentially move me towards my larger goal? Like, what's the bigger picture here? Providing youth empowerment? Okay, great. How is this class going to do that is really studying and like getting that A plus going to serve me anymore than getting a B and just getting to the next unit and moving in that right direction? No, of course not. in some ways, I really am grateful for the concussion, because of that.
[00:25:28] BP: I had to do that in my undergrad. I would have friends and I was like, okay, I was like, I got the 90 or whatever. I was like to get the 95 that's double the work. All of a sudden, like to get that extra percent. I'd have friends that would do it. They'd be like, “Oh, you're done.” I was like, “I'm done.” I was like, “I'm ill, I am done.” Like the project is done. I am done. I'm not sitting at it and staring at it for six more hours. Like, I can hand it in now, and I can live with that, but that takes time. I love that you mentioned mental health, but we're going to talk about that next after the break.
[MESSAGE]
[00:26:06] BP: Cognitive FX is a research driven clinic that has successfully treated 1000s of patients who have long lasting symptoms from concussions or other brain related injuries. Cognitive FX has an innovative approach to recovery that uses an advanced fMRI scan to map the function in your brain. Treatment in Cognitive FX takes five days to complete and uses your fMRI scan as a guide and baseline to ensure that your treatment is personalized and effective. This means that you won't need to schedule and keep track of multiple specialists’, locations, dates, times or therapies, because they will all be prepared for you when you arrive.
Once you've completed their treatment you receive a personalized at home plan to continue your recovery and gain access to their online patient portal that has instructional videos and resources for your continued recovery. Conveniently, Cognitive FX also offers free consultation so both you and the doctors can ensure that treatment is a good choice for you and your injury. Visit their website at cognitivefxusa.com. Don't delay your recovery any longer. Find solutions at Cognitive FX today.
[INTERVIEW CONTINUED]
[00:27:17] BP: Welcome back to the Post-Concussion Podcast with myself, Bella Paige and today's guest, Caroline Rakus-Wojciechowski.
[00:27:26] CRW: You got it.
[00:27:27] BP: Awesome. We're going to talk a little bit on mental health. Do you want to tell us about your mental health experience throughout this?
[00:27:37] CRW: Yeah. I'm actually going to back it up a little bit and say that a month before the accident, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which is not uncommon for women to be diagnosed later in life, 27 year old. I've been living with this thing for years and never knew about it. I also suffer from complex trauma. Y'all can look that up in your own time. What I've learned about getting a concussion on top of this, there's a psychological term called comorbidities. It's when there's a disease or conditions that are simultaneously present in the patient. We all know ADHD. We get that hyperactivity. We get very distractible.
I found that the concussion just augmented all of the symptoms, and all of a sudden, I really needed to like practice good focus and organization skills, because while it was passable earlier on now I was dealing with like a whole new playing field one where my brain was literally like, okay, and now you need to do work here. Oh, and look, sustainability. Oh, and look, this is happening in the news. Oh, and look, this is happening in Nigeria. It's just all over the place. By the time that I actually decided on a plan of action, there's that fatigue again. Then it would just delay the entire rest of the day. I would be working nine to five, and then as soon as 5pm came, I was out cold just from exhaustion.
Navigating those mental health conditions on top of the concussion, really tested my cognitive ability and just my, I would say resilience and being able to go ahead and address those and start a life post-concussion, learning how to navigate those and manage those symptoms. I think the brain training definitely helped out a lot. It's easy to get frustrated. I would say. I had a lot of mental breakdowns. I would spend hours just crying like, I don't know what to do to make this better. Like I feel like nobody understands the severity with which concussions affect the person who is suffering from it. My job certainly didn't. I constantly went back and forth with my manager about like, “Hey, I'm still learning how to navigate this new condition that I didn't know I had for 27 years.” Now like this concussion is just exacerbating everything.
I know it's affecting my work. We need to be able to work together to like, find a different, like management plan or plan of action for me as the employee to be able to like progress in the way that I need right now. I get that the company has its own like, layout discussions of pips started happening, performance improvement plan. I'm just like, what I'm reading what the PIP is, it's not going to fit. It's not going to fit with what I need. It's not going to improve anything, if anything. It's just going to make things worse for me mentally. I feel like this is not an uncommon experience. Even just like attitudes towards mental health, in general in the workplace.
It was interesting having to have those discussions, when really, I was still learning about both of those conditions by myself, but I mentioned earlier that it's important to like, give yourself that grace and that kindness. I am glad that I'm now taking the time in between that job and finding a new job, because a I feel like I need to find that more specialized field in what I want to do and how I want to do it. Do I want to do youth empowerment through the multilateral space and like work for governments and then work from there, or do I want to be part of a nonprofit, do I want to be my own social entrepreneur and be able to do more on the ground, hands on work in the design and implementation stages. That's just me personally.
I feel like focusing on your mental health and just being able to say, “Hey, I took a break. I needed to figure some things out. I needed to take care of myself and prioritize my needs.” I think that shows incredible courage for everyone, not just me and my experience. I feel like mine was a little necessitated, but it's a scary feeling. For anyone who does have to go through this, I would just encourage you to remember, like it takes so much courage to be able to just recognize that you need something and you are pursuing that something, because it's going to be better for your mental health in the long run.
The all-nighters don't help being a grad student, sometimes you do need to pull all-nighters, but it's really, I find a tradeoff. Then just being able to do whatever you can in terms of physical activity in terms of diet, like for example, Bella and I were both saying like, we can't run right now or ever, who knows, but running exercise, it's so important. To the extent that you're able to do any physical movement, my neurologist recommended speed walking everywhere, which not a problem, I'm from New York. It's what we do.
I played pickle ball the other day. It's like tennis, where you're like sprinting and stopping. I knew fully well that I was going to regret that decision later, but here we are seven months later and I was okay. Maybe like some intense muscle back pain, but overall, like that's already such a vast improvement than like the nausea and the migraines that I was experiencing back in June and July. Obviously, like with diet. You want to be putting good nutritional things in your body to also help expedite your healing or at least like, continue your track on healing. I'd say like, the last thing is really normalizing this experience.
I really felt that nobody when I heard the seven to nine months, I was like, “What are you talking about? It takes that long to heal a concussion?” Like, I didn't know about it. I was a former pre-med. I took neurobio classes. There was a mention of this. I feel like a lot of people would be surprised to hear that. Then I started doing my own research. I found the Post-Concussion Podcast. It was just such a huge relief hearing people talk about their experiences, normalizing those experiences, and really just people taking the reins on their mental health and getting back that's ownership, I guess, over that control over their own lives in whatever ways that you can. That really helped. That really helped with my mental health.
[00:34:40] BP: Yeah. All great points and I like that you mentioned the control, because that's, I find a lot where the mental breakdowns come in, because you feel like you don't have any. Like, all of a sudden you have none. It's like, I can't do this. I can't do what I used to do. I can't do what I want to do. Like all these things keep changing. Like I think I'm good one day. Then the next I’m not, because like the roller coaster is extreme and the no one gets me as hard. Like, it's something I went through before like, way before I started all this. I was like, “I am the only one on the planet.” Like, and it felt like that when I go to doctors too, because I would like explain my situation and they're like, “When was your concussion?” It's like, “I had had quite a few.” I was actually going through the other day. I have like a lot more than I sometimes think I do, because I was just a 10 plus, because like the real number just like keeps going.
I was like, “How long ago was it?” I was like, “Two years.” They’re like, “Oh.” I'm like, “Oh?” Like, my symptoms are still here. Hello. Helped me. I was like, okay, like this isn't normal or like when I Googled in the past, you Google like concussions symptoms like not going away. It was like such a small percentage at that time. It would say like, it was so rare. Unless you had like 40 or like your some NFL player who just had like so many hits to the head. I was like, “Okay. Well, I wasn't in the NFL.” Okay. I've had a lot of concussions, but like, nothing compared to that. I was just like, “Okay, like, what's wrong?” I’m like, “What is wrong with me?” I remember thinking like I had a brain tumour for like years. Like I was like, do another scan and they do a scan. It was like, there's really nothing there. Like, are you sure? I was like, “How is my concussion causing this?”
Like, I've had friends I've gotten them through better, like I've had them in the past. I've bounced back, like, why am I not getting back to normal. I'm doing all the therapies and doing everything you're telling me to do. So very frustrating and it takes time like things can get better, but there's definitely moments where it feels like, nothing is going to get better. One thing I do like about this is it does really help you prioritize things in your life, like, hugely, like you said. Like, it really does make you think like, what do I need? What do I want? Like what is important to me? Like, I have like moments like, so like this weekend was quiet, because I just wanted a quiet weekend. I'm like, well, that worked out, because I had a headache at the beginning of the week. I can like just like hang out at home and get work done, but that's what I want to do.
That takes time to get there. Like, it's not like, Okay, what do I need? Like, I'm going to only do this, but I do find like your head injuries where you reevaluate like everything in your life? Do I need this? Do I really need to like push myself to go out with people that I don't really want to go with? Or like, stay at a party that you're like, hey, I'm really over this, that kind of stuff. I just find it really helps you like reprioritize. What do I need? What do I want? Like map it out. I find like the best thing to do is like write it all down. Draw lines. Do the mind maps, like they taught you in school? Just like, what do I like to do? Like, I have a giant one for like, 2022 from like Post-Concussion Inc. like, what is this year going to look like? Then I'll do another one, like, what is next year going to look like, because it really helps you.
Like, when you start feeling that like, I can't handle this mental breakdown. You're like, can go back to that, even take a picture of it on your phone and be like, “Okay, this is what I wanted to focus on. We don't need to stress about all these other little things.” So it helps, but it takes a lot of time. I always like to tell people that like this isn't overnight stuff. It is stuff that takes months, mental health takes months, but it's very important to address and you have been great so far on the podcast. I just wanted to ask, is there anything else you'd like to add before ending today's episode?
[00:38:49] CRW: Let's see. First, I would like to also add, like if you aren't sleeping, there's two ways that you can go on the spectrum. It's either you're sleeping way too much post-concussion, or way too little post-concussion. I fall into the former, but again, it's a totally normal thing. So just also don't be surprised if this is a symptom. Definitely seek the medical attention that you need for that. I think it just boils down to the essentials of what we've been discussing this entire podcast. Really be kind to yourself to your point, it takes a lot of patience with yourself with others in order to be able to heal in the way that you need.
Rest, I cannot stress this enough. I know I joke and said like the all-nighters aren't helping, but stress does make the process longer. If you do want to heal, you need to take that time for yourself and be honest. Communicate with your co-workers, with your boss, with your classmates and professors and going into that find your essence like, what do you truly value? What do you want to do if your job is not sensitive to those needs? Perhaps it's time to find somewhere that will be a better work culture for you. That's not a bad thing. That's quite the way it's supposed to be actually.
Let's see, and oh, there are resources that you can access that'll be able to help you. I think you have to be proactive about it, because right now, these discussions are not so normalized. You have to seek out your own solutions, and be your own hero at the end of the day and healing these concussion symptoms.
More than anything else, I would just say, get the word out there and normalize these experiences, because once I started having these discussions with people even just my friends, they would say, “Oh, yeah, I think I do remember that one of my classmates was a football player. They had a concussion the doctor gave them the clearance for like, three, four weeks later, but they had headaches and were bad at testing for like, the next year or so.” So that is a normal experience.
I think talking about it more, being coming more familiar with the symptomology will also normalize the experience and make you feel, okay. I'm not alone in this experience. There are others I can talk to and seek help. Not least of which I'm going to do a little pub for Bella here, she has the group as well. That's even a good place to start. I'm sure there are brain training centers around your area as well. Probably Facebook groups out there somewhere that you can just connect with and bolster each other up because I think that's really important.
[00:41:37] BP: Yeah, it is. That's what I love about Concussion Connect, our like, support network. It is true, normalizing all these conversations is so important, because I forget all the time. I shouldn't forget, because I'm surrounded by it. Like, all the news I read is about concussions. Like I share it on Concussion Connect like, everything I do. Like it's just surrounded, it's like a big circle. That's what I live in, but like once in a while I meet someone and I'm like, “Oh.” They're like, “What do you do for a living?” I'm like, “I run a Concussion Support Network. That's how I like explained all this.” They're like, “Is that really needed?” I'm like, “Yes, actually. You'd be surprised.”
How many – like, ask around and they're like, “Oh, I think like, my sibling had a few concussions.” I was like, “I bet you if you ask them, they notice things they didn't even address because, like it's human nature to shrug things off.” I do think it's important to talk about all this. So I just wanted to thank you so much for joining us today and sharing some of your storey, post-concussion.
[00:42:39] CRW: Thank you, Bella. It's been a pleasure.
[END OF INTERVIEW]
[00:42:45] BP: Need more than just this podcast? Be sure to check out our website postconcussioninc.com, to see how we can help you in your post-concussion life. From a support network to one-on-one coaching. I believe life can get better, because I've lived through it. Make sure you take it one day at a time.
[END]
The Post Concussion Cookbook is Launching Soon!
Make sure you don’t miss out!
OTHER CONTENT YOU MAY LIKE
