Being Active in Recovery with Megan Warner
Show Notes:
The complexities of the healthcare system can be a maze most of us dread, but for Megan, it was a journey of self-discovery and self-advocacy. She stresses the importance of reaching out to others who have navigated the system before, something we can all learn from.
In a society that often overlooks the therapeutic power of nature, Megan's story serves as a profound reminder. Her encounters with the great outdoors, particularly a cathartic moment at a waterfall, exemplify the healing potential of nature. We also delve into the safety and accessibility of outdoor activities and their role in reducing stress levels. Megan’s journey as a disabled recreationist defies societal norms, proving that the outdoors can be a space for everyone, regardless of their physical abilities.
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meganwarner3/
Outdoor Sustainability Blog on Instagram: @outdoorsustyed
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Bella Paige
Host
00:03
Hi everyone. I'm your host, Bella Paige, and after suffering from post concussion syndrome for years, it was time to do something about it. So welcome to the post concussion podcast, where we dig deep into life when it doesn't go back to normal. Be sure to share the podcast and join our support network, concussion Connect. Let's make this invisible injury become visible.
00:29
The post concussion podcast is strictly an information podcast about concussions and post concussion syndrome. It does not provide nor substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. The opinions expressed in this podcast are simply intended to spark discussion about concussions and post concussion syndrome. Do you feel constantly overwhelmed by your concussion symptoms and life changes? This is where Wombat. Wombat can help you A new breathwork and somatic therapy app powered by neuroscience. Let's slow down those racing thoughts and give ourselves the ability to breathe. Wombat is designed with an understanding of the impact of trauma on individuals, ensuring a safe and supportive environment for users dealing with stress, anxiety or post traumatic experiences. Go to their website today at hellowombatcom.
01:39
Welcome to episode number 110 of the post concussion podcast with Bella Paige, and today's guest, Megan Warner. Megan is a transracial adoptee from China who is passionate about healing in the outdoors and curious about intersection of climate work, environmental justice and mindfulness. Megan is interested in exploring sustainability solutions with the possibility of building community resilience and co-creating knowledge through the lens of mindfulness of future generations and vulnerable populations. Welcome to the show, megan. Hi, it's good to be here. So to start, do you want to tell everyone a little bit about the concussion you experienced?
Megan Warner
Guest
02:20
Yeah, so my concussion was in August of 2022 and I got my injury during a soccer game. I was playing rec soccer, co-ed and I got kicked in the back of the head. But I like to specify not directly by a person, it was a ball that was shot into the back of my head by a person, but I did not lose consciousness, and I think, as I talk about the day more and more, the details sometimes get fuzzier, but it was kind of an interesting mix of things. I had worked that whole day, then I had donated plasma and then I didn't eat, and then I played the soccer game and got this injury.
03:11
After I had the initial injury, I definitely felt dizzy and I came off the field shortly after and I sort of laid down and looked up at the sky and I was dizzy and that was probably the first sign that something was wrong. But I actually went back into the game for the last 10 minutes because we needed subs and there had been some other team members who had injuries, and so it was kind of just one of those things where I didn't even think what I was doing. I didn't realize I had a concussion until probably 24 hours afterwards, when I was at work and we were in a meeting and I could not follow the conversation, someone asked me how I got to work and I was like, honestly, I don't know. That's kind of when the signs were quite clear for me.
Bella Paige
Host
03:59
Yeah, that's definitely something that happens a lot. It's not always instant. I think it's really human nature to carry on and then it's like, oh no, there is something wrong, I'm not okay, my brain's not working the way it should be, or sometimes people have really bad headaches. The experience can be very different. You hit the 24 hours and then what type of symptoms did you experience? Did you go through this for a long time? Do you want to talk a little bit about that?
Megan Warner
Guest
04:29
Yeah. So this, I think, is really important to think about now that I'm further along and I'm definitely in the post-concussion phase, is I had every symptom I had possibly heard of or could imagine. If you looked up concussion, I had every single one. And so I was dizzy, I had slurred speech, I was highly emotional, the brain fog, the ringing in the ears and just generally being disoriented. I think People asking me questions. It was hard to focus. I needed help, first of all, even get so I got myself to urgent care. But then I, as a curious person, started listening to podcasts about actually concussion and I learned that post concussion was a possibility and that your initial care was so important. And I actually did the thing very early on where I was like what if this ends up being me?
05:29
But it was really difficult because I moved out to Oregon on my own that year and so I didn't have family but I had really good friends and so I didn't have the traditional support system and so I had to go around and figure out that something was wrong. But then, when urgent care diagnosed me, they were like, oh, you should be better in two weeks. And I wasn't. I definitely was not. And what I guess my decision was, though I got so scared because I didn't have that clear support system, and at this point I was, like, honestly, very skeptical of even driving, and so I actually flew to see my family. I got on a plane, I Google searched like how long can you fly after a concussion? And I played it on the side where I waited 10 days.
06:22
I got on a plane to be with at least my mom and my sister, and we were at a camp that I kind of grew up going to, and to me that was like the best thing I could have done for my healing, because there was like no cell phones, no technology. It was a place that I felt very safe in, but basically I didn't really see any doctor during that time, and so it was like time off, but it was. Also, I was wearing sunglasses everywhere. When we were in the dining hall and we were eating, I could not distinguish like noises or conversations. I had a very hard time socially interacting with multiple things going on, but I did like walking, I did pickleball, I did kayaking, and so for all of those things were really good, I think, for me, telling myself like I'm okay, I'm okay, but then everything kind of evolved and I still have a lot of those symptoms. I would say.
Bella Paige
Host
07:22
Yeah, I kind of like how you talked about being like away from your family, that being a lone aspect in navigating. This is something actually a lot of our survivors that have talked on the show have gone through, or I find it's really common on our community Concussion Connect, where you've traveled away from your family, you have a career or something and going to school, and so it adds a lot of pressure. I actually went through it too. It actually caused me to move back home because I was 18 at the time and I just couldn't catch up by myself. I couldn't take care of myself, let alone live away from everyone, and so I definitely commend you on doing that. It's really nice that you get to go to that camp and it is hard because the research changes all the time on when to do therapy, how much therapy and things like that. But you talked about being in that dining hall.
08:17
A lot of that challenge is something a lot of people deal with. Is that filtering out noise, like if you're talking to someone and there's someone else talking behind you, a lot of people can just block that out and kind of tune into the conversation, but after a concussion, that like locking out skill kind of goes out the window All of a sudden you hear everything that's going on. You're not in a restaurant, just at the table. You can hear the kitchen and people walking and doors opening and closing, and so it can be really overwhelming and then also increase a lot of your symptoms. I am sorry that you are still dealing with some of your symptoms right now. So what have you done to help your symptoms? Did you find doctors after relaxing sort of pickleball vacation with your family, or where did you go next?
Megan Warner
Guest
09:04
Yeah, so actually through my own listening to post concussion podcast, I was able to target what sort of therapies I needed. I will say that it took so much self-advocating and researching stuff myself and even talking to people, but a lot of people who I talked to early on were quite shocked and, had you know, their symptoms went away in like two weeks to a month, and so when it surpassed a month it was just hard to find people to relate to. In that sense, I had this one experience that I think was one of the hardest was I called? Well, first I extended my insurance with my parents because I was turning 26. And after that I sort of called the insurance and I was like, hey, I'm looking for doctors in this and they gave me a list of 60 to 80 providers.
09:56
But when you have a brain injury, that's extremely hard to digest and so I would do this thing where I would call a provider and then I would forget who I called. They would call me back and then you play phone tag with all these providers. Or because my injury didn't happen at work, I had a lot of people say like we only deal with work related injuries, or like we only deal with people who have had severe TBI's or I think living in a small I'm in Eugene, oregon, so it's a pretty small town is there wasn't a lot of access, or I would have to go far, like I would have to look in bigger cities. But at this point I was like I can't be commuting like two hours to these doctor's appointments and so it took me a while to find, and then I sort of realized that concussion care is quite scattered and so you have to really like you might go to someone and then they might refer you to someone else, but like it hasn't been very comprehensive and then I've had to sort of figure that out on my own, from sort of just like learning.
11:00
But it was, finding doctors was not easy, it was actually one of the most difficult challenges. And then, even as you sort of get into therapy, a lot of things get easier. But some things I think many doctors will start telling you like we don't know, we don't know, and so like, dealing with that uncertainty constantly is confusing for anyone, let alone someone with a brain injury. But I just started getting really good at writing everything down, documenting things in multiple places. I have like a planner for everything. I have stuff in my phone, I have stuff in my notebook, I have reminders, I use sticky notes still, and sometimes it's just like a go buy your energy curve type of thing and I got really, I think, emotionally taxed from even navigating the healthcare system that I had to basically be like.
11:55
This needs to be easier in some way, and so sometimes I could ask for help. But a lot of it, honestly, I did by myself and I would say stubbornly, because I was kind of out here on my own.
Bella Paige
Host
12:09
Yeah, I get a lot of what you're talking about. That finding people to relate is really tough. It's actually just reminds me more and more on why I even created Concussion Connect, because that was one of my biggest problems through all this was I couldn't find anybody else that was like me. I would talk to friends and they were better, like you said, in a month. Maybe they noticed something like bringing in their ears for a few months, but that went away. Their life wasn't being changed by it and mine was.
12:39
And finding doctors and specialists is really challenging in the brain injury world. Like you said, it is a TBI, but it's not like you had a skull fracture. You're not relearning to walk, you're not relearning to talk. There's a lot of things that go on with a traumatic brain injury that don't with a concussion or a mild TBI. So not that it's mild in any way, but these types of things are really challenging that a lot of people deal with, and so finding specialists is tough Finding doctors isolated areas makes it even more hard. Insurance makes it a nightmare for a lot of people to go through and try to even figure out who accept you to help you. And do you have any little tips or anything on finding people. I know you went to your insurance provider to kind of get a list, which I think is a really smart thing. When you need insurance to help you cover your health care, you might as well find out who you can even go to.
Megan Warner
Guest
13:36
Yeah, I think honestly, the talking directly to people and being connected directly with people who had sort of navigated the health system before was helpful. I now sort of have a mentor who I can like shoot questions towards. I think that helped a lot in the sense of it felt very chaotic and scattered, trying to figure it out. I did at one point actually my insurance allowed for a case manager who sort of helped, but honestly, a lot of the questions were like, oh, can you drive, can you feed yourself, can you get around physically? And then like, oh, you can, okay, then you're probably fine. And it really ignored, I think the or not ignored, but it didn't really consider like the cognitive and the lifestyle changes you have to make, and so that was perhaps helpful in some ways, but also had gaps. And so I think, like my general tips is you sort of become like you care about your health the most and you also know your day to day better than anyone else, and so use that to be able to advocate for your needs, to be able to sometimes question the care you are getting. That's really hard to as well. Or I think one of my biggest challenges was when I was trying to go back to work and trying to get accommodations, and my employers were like listening to my four to five providers and they had conflicting recommendations. So I think just trusting your instinct and your experience is sometimes the most powerful, because brain injuries are so unique and so when it comes to these sort of conflicting ideas, it's easy to get really confused and it's easy for other people to misunderstand as well, I think, and so I think I've learned you just have to be very, you have to be very vocal about what you're experiencing.
15:35
Or I had this little instance recently where my mom asked me. I told her I actually have to move home too soon to sort of finish out this recovery. But one of my concerns was like moving back to the desert Arizona where my family is, and I was like the sunlight, like the sunlight still bugs me. I've been in the Pacific Northwest and it's so gentle on my brain like the winter time. But here, as the seasons change, I've realized I'm still quite sensitive to light.
16:05
My mom was like, when you visited home I never knew that Like, how would I know that you were outside all the time? And I was like but that's because sensitivity to light is constant and if you constantly are talking about it, people don't always know how to help you other than, like, wear sunglasses, blah, blah, blah. But when it's symptoms that you experience every single day, it's really easy to just stop talking about what bugs you thinking that you know. Now I'm making this person uncomfortable because they don't know how to help me. Honestly, journaling has been extremely helpful for me to track my own sort of progress and symptoms.
Bella Paige
Host
16:45
Yeah, that is some great advice and you know the conflicting information you get from medical professionals is really up to you what you want to take in, what advice you want to follow. I am sorry you have to move. I'm sure Arizona is still great, but you know it's definitely really challenging when your life gets steered in different directions because of your health. But we are going to talk a little bit more about that, about the outdoors and things like that, but we'll take a quick break. Cognitive FX is a research-driven clinic that has successfully treated thousands of patients who have long-lasting symptoms from concussions or other brain-related injuries. Cognitive FX has an innovative approach to recovery that uses an advanced fMRI scan to map the function in your brain. Treatment at Cognitive FX takes five days to complete and uses your fMRI scan as a guide and baseline to ensure that your treatment is personalized and effective. This means that you won't need to schedule and keep track of multiple specialists, locations, dates, times or therapies, because it will all be prepared for you when you arrive. Once you've completed their treatment, you receive a personalized at home plan to continue your recovery and gain access to their online patient portal that has instructional videos and resources for your continued recovery Conveniently. Cognitive FX also offers free consultation, so both you and the doctors can ensure that treatment is a good choice for you and your injury. Visit their website at CognitiveFXUSAcom. Don't delay your recovery any longer. Find solutions at Cognitive FX today.
18:28
Welcome back to the post-concussion podcast with Bella Paige, and today's guest, Megan Warner. So we've talked a lot about the experience of going through a concussion, post-concussion syndrome and things like that, and so something Megan mentioned to me was that the outdoors is the only place you got left when we talked beforehand and before recording all this. So do you want to talk about why the outdoors felt like the only place you could go?
Megan Warner
Guest
18:56
Yeah, absolutely, and so I guess I'll give some context about what I was talking about. I'll give some context about what I was doing before my brain injury and sort of how this led me towards actually turning to nature more often for healing than anything else, and I've also found it being the most invigorating and restoring for my brain and my body and all the things. And so I studied sustainability in college and it sort of became my life passion as well, as I had a pretty outdoorsy childhood, growing up going to summer camp and running around in the woods. I've always had that for a very long time. And then, sort of after college, that led me into my first post-grad career, which was wilderness therapy in Hilo, hawaii, and that was sort of helping adolescents and young adults who had mental health challenges through nature-based therapy, through gardening, and I always knew that the outdoors was healing for me. But as I learned in college, I started to see the connections between why spending time in nature is good for us and how we kind of need it it can be really good for us, such as things just like being outside. Breathing fresh air is so different for our bodies than breathing stale air or being exposed to natural light versus artificial light, being outside reduces our stress levels instantly, and there have even been places around the world that have integrated nature into design to promote healing and having green spaces, and so I think these are things we all sort of intuitively know, but to harness that and to reorient our lives around that idea has been helpful. And so my passions outdoor-wise are hiking, rock climbing, I love to run, I love picnicking, I love paddle boarding, so many things. And I've really been able to lean into that identity during this brain injury, which I think is amazing, because you go through a lot of existential questions with your brain injury when you lose your career, or if you lose your career or if you have to change what you're doing. But for me, nature has been the one constant, I think, throughout this injury.
21:15
I will say, though, that being in nature with a brain injury kind of put me into this category that I didn't realize before of feeling like I am now a disabled recreationist, and what does that mean and what does that look like?
21:30
And I'll speak to just one experience that I had early on in my concussion, where I was hiking with some friends at a waterfall, but the waterfall was so loud that my body froze, I started crying.
21:43
I didn't even know what was happening, but it was like this safe place that I loved became almost like a threat to me, because I felt unsafe and the water was too loud, the motion of the river rushing was too much for my visual system and I literally froze, sat, I held my ears and I was just crying until my friend came and then I had to walk out of the trail, closing my ears, and it took me a really long time to feel regulated again. So I will say that in a weird way, is like your brain injury can also impact the activities you love. So I started to really question this idea of what is it like to feel safe and unsafe, also in nature, but at the same time it's still generally something. Now I just know. Be mindful of potential triggers that could happen inside or outside, because your sound boundaries could be tested If a train goes off and you can't really control that.
Bella Paige
Host
22:47
I love the outdoors. I'm a super outdoorsy person to the point where I actually work outside most of the summer, which is really funny because I work on a computer, because that's how much I like being outside, and I'd rather just sit outside with the birds and the leaves and everything rather than sit in a room. And the room that I work in is very quiet because it's a studio for a podcast, so it is like extra, extra quiet. So you know, fresh air, all these things are really good. I know it's most people, when you ask them, like what helps them escape from the mental health aspect of this and all the symptoms, is getting outside. And I think it's because we kind of get a break, we kind of get to enjoy the moment, we get to be in the moment. A lot of that mindfulness work kind of sets in without even trying when you're outdoors. So I really like that. You mentioned disabled recreationist, because I've never actually used that word before and I've never thought about it that way, but it is a very real situation. I never think of myself as disabled, but I do so many things that other people don't have to do, just so I can participate just like them. And so you mentioned like that waterfall moment where you know it was just too much.
24:11
And sometimes we've been talking about this in support group and it's kind of my favorite like visual, for this is when you're ill or you have a lot of symptoms. Maybe you don't have a ton, but it's like you have a water glass and you're filling it up and everybody has a water glass that they fill up every day. But when you have, you know symptoms you're dealing with, when you need to remember to have headphones and you need to remember what you're doing. You need to remember your sunglasses and your hat and all these little things, medications you're taking, when to eat maybe your sugar levels affect your symptoms all these things your glass is already so full just when you're walking out the door, because if everything you have to do every day and half these things you probably don't even notice you do after you've lived with this for so long. So what happens is like too much noise, too much of anything that could be a lot for someone. Even without this. Your glass is already full, so it's really overwhelming.
25:08
I think that's where a lot of that, like that rush of feelings, comes from is because your glass is already full so you're just over filling it. When something over stimulating happens, you know like your brain is already up there. You're already doing your best, you're already doing so much and then you add like too much noise or too much sunlight or stress and that glass just overflows and a lot of the time that's with an outburst of emotion. And one thing I love that you mentioned was how to feel safe outdoors. So do you have any tips on getting outdoors? What you felt safe with originally and kind of how you grew into doing more, because I know a lot of people just start with like going for a walk, but I know really active people would love to do more.
Megan Warner
Guest
25:49
Yeah. So I think that one of my passions that have sort of come out of this injury as well is like how to make outdoor spaces more inclusive and also more diverse, and I think one of the things that's most affected me but I think it's also a reason why people sometimes forget that I have a brain injury or are just surprised is because I'm so physically active and I've been very fortunate and very lucky to be able to return to all my physical activities, with the exception of soccer. I've sort of ruled that out like okay, that's, I'll just watch that at this point. But with hiking, for example, like I've always been a big solo hiker which has many layers, because you can be intimidated about being a female in the outdoors, you can be intimidated about going to an area that you don't know as well. But I think the brain injury just made me see that, yes, your energy levels, you can't always tell what's going to give and take away energy, and so what? Sometimes I can go and I can hike for like six hours, and it's not the physical hiking that drains me, it's the driving. Like the driving takes so much of my mental capacity, and so I think I've had to rely actually now more on group outdoor activities, which I think has also had this nice benefit of like sharing time outside with people. But I constantly have to be like how long am I going to drive? If I get tired in the cars, they're going to be someone else who would be able to take over the driving. These are things that I never had to think about before my brain injury.
27:24
But another great example is just like rock climbing. For me, was was one of these very intimidating, hard to access, especially as, like a woman of color, these spaces I was like I'm so scared of getting into this. But luckily I was able to find a very supportive group of like solo out outdoorsy gals as our little group and because I was able to find that community, I just started going with other people. I also was over cautious of rock climbing outside again for many reasons, but yeah, the I wear my helmet constantly. But I also was like I can't prevent myself from doing the stuff I love. I've talked to my doctors about this.
28:02
But rock climbing is like you actually get to practice your memory a lot. It's a. It's a very good brain activity as well as just like a leisure activity because I'll watch like a friend climb around and then I'll be like did I remember that? Can I climb it that way? Can I see these sort of patterns? Or if you're on a rock feature outside, can you? It's like a puzzle. Can you like figure out how to get to the top in a way that is fun and safe and all these things?
28:30
I started connecting my outdoor activities to like what I was doing in vision therapy or what I was doing in speech therapy.
28:37
It made those activities even more enjoyable and then I think also for sort of feeling safe in the outdoors. A lot of it, I think, is sort of just by planning and preparing a lot and that it can be both tricky and also really a necessity with a brain injury, because I started off as like a solo outdoorsy person to feel my own empowerment and honestly I just didn't have a lot of friends who wanted to do that. When I was in college it was like I wanted to go hike and camp and climb on the weekends and my people of my age during that time wanted to party and drink and I had never really been into that. But then I found this like community of outdoor people and I realized it can be so fulfilling and you can learn so much about people very quickly through these shared activities. And if you're able to seek and find those communities that put inclusivity and diversity in the outdoors very front of mind, like you'll be very, I think, nicely surprised what is out there, but sometimes finding it is challenging, yeah.
Bella Paige
Host
29:42
Yeah, I think that's some great advice and I really like the connection of like how therapy can be so integrated into physical activity. You know, you don't always have to be sitting in or standing in a therapy office to do puzzles and test your brain and challenge it and things like that, and so I really love that piece. And I'm a huge solo exercise activity person. I always have been. I liked solo sports, let alone solo hiking. My trick to solo hiking is bring a dog. I bring my big shepherd with me and she kind of helps you feel a lot better about walking through the woods. But I just want to thank you. You know that's really helpful advice. I really hope it helps people, you know, kind of push themselves a little bit and get outdoors more. You know, find a community to go outdoors with. There's tons of them. If anyone needs help finding one, they can reach out to me. I do know how to do that, and so is there anything else you would like to add before ending today's episode?
Megan Warner
Guest
30:40
Yeah, I think I just want to mention that I think storytelling is really powerful with brain injury in terms of, like I just started writing down everything and I think, whatever your mode of processing the injury is is like telling your story is so important, and I think one of the weird like I don't know if I could call it a silver lining, but one of the ways in which brain or injury has has opened up other things for me is I had this interesting experience, though, where I stopped working, I quit my job, like all of my activities sort of geared towards towards my recovery and my health, and as soon as I was able to like flip the actual switch in my brain and it's so easy for us to be like work, we work first and then we do other things but when I was able to say no, I'm going to heal first, like I started putting that into all aspects of my life in ways that I had never thought about before.
31:41
I started like actually seeing a therapist shortly after my injury for adoption, and I started actually having more time to sort of explore. So, prioritizing your brain recovery and prioritizing like taking care of yourself, you just like learn those lessons and you have to do that with brain injury and but it presents a lot of, I think, opportunities for seeing the world in ways you weren't able to see. And so one thing I will say that I'm grateful for in this injury is like having more time to focus on healing, leading my life, as opposed to it being like it feeling like a burden, or it feeling like it's taking away from like my 20s, which was like a huge thing at the beginning, where I was like, oh my gosh, I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't build my career, I can't be normal, I can't be in bars, and now I'm like I'm just able to see the other side of what it has been doing for me.
Bella Paige
Host
32:41
I think that's really nice, that you've kind of you know you flip the narrative on yourself on what's happened to you and what you've gone through, which is really important, and storytelling is something that I think is really healing.
32:53
It's helped me a lot, even just sharing different pieces of my story on this podcast. My story is really long, so I definitely haven't addressed even a lot of it in over two years, but things like that can really be helpful and that's why we do. We just started Story Sunday, where survivors can write their story and submit it just to you know, get it out to the world and also just get it off their chest. So if anybody wants to do that, they can find it on the website and submit their own, and I want to thank you for being so open and thank you for joining us today and sharing some of your post-concussion life Need more than just this podcast. Be sure to check out our website, postconcussioninkcom, to see how we can help you in your post-concussion life, From a support network to one-on-one coaching. I believe life can get better, because I've lived through it. Make sure you take it one day at a time.
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