She Looks Fine? with Roberta & Paige
Show Notes:
Have you ever wondered how a traumatic brain injury could reshape your life? Join us as we journey with mother and daughter, Roberta and Paige, through a world turned upside down by Paige's brain injury and the symptoms that followed.
Roberta opens up about her journey as a caregiver, transforming her struggles into knowledge as she researched to help her daughter, ultimately penning a book about their experiences; "She Looks Fine." Together, they shed light on this misunderstood condition, offering a beacon of hope to others facing similar challenges.
But it doesn't end there; adversity, as they say, often brings out the best in us. We touch upon how this life-altering experience led to personal growth and the pursuit of passions. Find out how supporting Paige's love for singing transformed their lives, and how they learned to respect each other's boundaries while cohabiting closely. This episode is a heartfelt narrative of resilience, recovery, and learning to thrive in the face of adversity.
The Book: "She Looks Fine" by both Roberta & Paige: https://shelooksfinebook.com/
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Please note episode transcriptions may not be 100% accurate!
Bella
Host
00:03
Hi everyone. I'm your host, bella Page, and after suffering from post-concussion syndrome for years, it was time to do something about it. So welcome to the post concussion podcast, where we dig deep into life when it doesn't go back to normal. Be sure to share the podcast and join our support network, Concussion Connect. Let's make this invisible injury become visible. The Post Concussion Podcast is strictly an information podcast about concussions and post concussion syndrome. It does not provide nor substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. The opinions expressed in this podcast are simply intended to spark discussion about concussions and post concussion syndrome. Welcome to episode number 117 of the post concussion podcast with my self-pill page and today's guests, Roberta Campbell and Paige Knechtly.
01:16
Roberta is an entrepreneur and two-time author, international best-selling author, a compassionate and empowering life coach on a mission to help others embrace their true selves and heal from past trauma. She studies personal development and is passionate about health and wellness. This, along with her Christian faith, helped her care for her daughter, paige, after her horrific accident. She is a devoted mother of two and enjoys traveling and is an enthusiastic foodie. Paige is an international best-selling author, recording artist and performer and public health advocate. She spends her days continuing to excel in her music, book haughty and read and it looked good merchandise. Paige has built her businesses from the ground up in her hometown, cincinnati, ohio. Paige has a song out specifically about her accident, called Fearless. Welcome to the show, Roberta and Paige.
Roberta
Guest
02:10
Thank you so much for having us, bella.
Paige
Host
02:13
Thank you.
Bella
Host
02:14
So, to start, do you want to give us some background on Paige's brain injury experience? Yeah, absolutely.
Roberta
Guest
02:22
Do you want to start? So in September 9th of 2018, paige was hit by a car while crossing the street in a cross walk and I was 3,000 miles away, and I had to come home not knowing what was happening, and there's a lot like she doesn't remember the accident and I wasn't there, so a lot of this is what we've been told from others. She suffered a traumatic brain injury and so, apparently, when she was hit by this car, she flew up and hit the front frontal of her head onto the windshield and it threw her back and she cracked her skull in the back of her head, and so I had no knowledge of traumatic brain injuries. She was in the hospital when I got here and I did not understand what was going on. She had more issues than that. She has nerve damage on her left foot and some other neck and back issues as well, but it was, of course, the brain that was the most concerning.
03:31
I will tell you, when I arrived at the hospital, she was acting very adolescent, very childlike. She was 22 years old at the time, she was in college, she had been on her own for a while, and so for me to walk in and to see her this way. It was very, it was unusual, it was odd. But I'll tell you what. The next morning she woke up in excruciating pain and from then on it didn't stop. I mean, we would later understand that it was because of the bleeding, bruising and swelling on the brain that caused her migraine to worsen every day. And so this accident, which was almost five years ago now, I'm going to tell you it took us years. I had no idea that it would be that long in understanding everything. So prior to this, there was no knowledge of traumatic brain injuries and that she has never had a head injury prior to this.
Paige
Host
04:42
It came as quite a shock because beforehand I was going to school for public health and I was serving multiple jobs, cocktail wagers, seeing anything to pay my rent, help me get through college. I was active, I was on the board of education for my major, I was just a busy, busy girl and then after that, to you know, feel like I was dying, to be stuck in a hospital bed, not knowing what tomorrow held for me, having to move back home after the fact, leave college, start my life over and completely lose my independence and have this excruciating pain that I still feel today, unfortunately.
05:32
But, at the time. It was very detrimental and I, you know, had to get a hospital help. I had to rest or I definitely would have had a stroke or something like that. I definitely would have lost my life without that medical help. So now it's more about me resting and understanding my body and listening to my body. It's so detrimental, for sure, but after the accident it was definitely the scariest thing I've ever been through.
Roberta
Guest
06:03
And I'll tell you two weeks. This was two weeks and three hospitals. So she was in one hospital and they sent her home and I, you know, they sent her back with me and I thought she's not okay. I mean I didn't know what to do. She was still in excruciating pain and so I actually got her back to another emergency room at a different hospital and then they sent her to another hospital. So it was two weeks of complete chaos and confusion.
Bella
Host
06:38
Absolutely. It's the lack of understanding and knowledge and all these things. It's really tough because we really don't know. Unless you've been around it, you don't get it.
06:53
I don't. It doesn't matter what anyone says. It's really hard to understand this until you've gone through it, whether as a caregiver, a friend, a partner or as a survivor yourself, because it really changes so much about you. I don't think you can really comprehend how much it's going to change your life, even when it happens, because it does take time to get to that part. And you know Pajum kind of mentions the thing about it being terrified, and that's totally valid and normal. I think you know people get really scared because we don't know what's going on.
07:30
And, roberto, you went to multiple hospitals trying to get help with something more severe like a TBI. It is scary because you can't see it. You know Pajum is in a ton of pain, but that's all you know. You can see it in your daughter, but you don't have much else to go off of other than someone telling you that they're in excruciating pain. And you listed some of the symptoms. A lot of people listening to the show know the very large amount of symptoms that come with this. But so what has helped you through this, all of it?
Paige
Host
08:03
To touch on that, like I feel like no one will really understand unless they've actually had a traumatic brain injury. I talk to people every single day about TBI. Yesterday I was selling books, selling our books. She looks fine and a woman you know came up and said what's a TBI? I said a traumatic brain injury. The more I keep talking to her, all of a sudden she starts crying. This happens all the time. This is so not out of the ordinary. She starts crying and explains how she was walking outside during winter one day with her dog, she slipped and fell, hit her head. You know her story goes on and on. It's just how scary it is to go through that and how much pain you feel and how like everything's spinning and you don't understand, like what's going on. Like just having that conversation with her, even yesterday, really puts things into perspective. Like you are a survivor, a TBI survivor. You're a warrior. To go through something like that is so hard. So just to say my piece on that yeah absolutely.
09:19
As for things that helped me, sleep is number one. I did not get enough sleep last night. I am very tired right now. I have a long list of things I have to do today. I'm going to have to drink a lot of water, take cognitive breaks, make sure I'm eating nonstop all day long. Definitely get a lot of sleep tonight. I did a hard workout yesterday, so today I'll just go for a walk, probably to move my body a little bit.
09:49
Other things I use aromatherapy every single day. I take a bath with Epsom salt almost every single day. I eat very clean. I use prayer and meditation as two of my biggest cognitive breaks and things like that too. Just a lot of healthy decisions in there throughout my day. Obviously, I will still go out and have a drink with a friend, maybe once a month, but I'm very stripped on my health and putting my brain and body first. Even four and a half years out and I think it's we know every TBI is different. Mine happened to be bleeding on the brain, swelling, bruising. It was a moderate to severe, mild, moderate to severe brain injury. So I'm still feeling the effects today and just moving forward as best as I can.
Bella
Host
10:51
And that's really the way to do it. You really have to find, like you said, that balance of how much sleep do you need and how much do you need to eat. When do you need to eat all these little things? A lot of brain injury recovery or brain management is daily life things that people don't really realize. Sometimes you don't realize you're doing them because these things become a habit, because you're doing them every day for so long. But they are really essential to find what works for you because, like you said, everyone's different. Everyone's experience is different. I know some people that do great gluten free. I know some people that it doesn't do anything. Everyone is different.
11:31
Finding what works for you is also a process that takes a lot of trial and error. You're not going to get it right the first time. You probably won't get it right the 50th time. So you have to kind of give yourself some grace in trying to figure it out and sometimes you'll think you have it all figured out and then your body will be like, actually we're awful today, Everything is haywire, our whole body, and you're like, yeah, what did I do? Where's the answer?
Paige
Host
11:58
Like that's how I feel today. Like I am so off right now, I literally just want to go to sleep, like I am 100% having a bad day. Yeah, I am having an awful day but it's going to be okay, but I'm just, I'm not feeling it today, yeah, yeah, so you understand that. That's so great to hear, because I think some people would just be like what are you even talking about?
Roberta
Guest
12:28
Well, I mean we had to. I mean we kind of canceled this a few times. I think you weren't feeling well, and that's the thing is that you have to listen to your body and listen to yourself, and some days you just say, look, I can't do it.
Bella
Host
12:41
Yeah, I think I had a POTS attack the one day we were supposed to record this. I was like, oh no, I don't do anything during POTS flare ups, I'm like if I get up I had one a few weeks ago because I've been figuring it out but sometimes when I go out in the heat all day for a few days, I kind of I don't have an internal thermostat, so whole body goes haywire. So I ended up in bed. Every time I got out of bed because you know, you try to push yourself, like you're pushing yourself today and I'm like I'm going to go make something to eat and I think I made it to my kitchen and then I was like, no, I turned around and went back to bed for six hours. I passed out. For, you know, sometimes it's just, it becomes part of your life. And just the other day I posted about. People sometimes tell you that you're really strong and I appreciate that. But I also always like to tell them that I don't have a choice.
Paige
Host
13:39
We saw your post and we talked about it.
Roberta
Guest
13:41
actually, yeah, yes.
Paige
Host
13:44
And I feel like this has made me such a fighter, like even today. I mean, sometimes I choose not to fight the battle, but like I have to, like I have to get things done today, and I just do it with the smile on my face and I know I'm going to pass out later and I know it would be better for me to go lay down, but I like I don't know, it's just crazy, it's just like fight mode, it's absolute fight mode, and I know here soon I'm gonna have more time to rest, but right now I just have a lot of things going on with the book and our podcast and and I was definitely ready to do this podcast with you today so I made that a priority. I have a lot going on with my music, so even the doctor prescribed me 10 hours of sleep a night a few weeks ago, so that was a new recommendation and I just need to like stick to that and actually get that done every day, every night?
Bella
Host
14:49
For sure it is. It's ongoing and of course, you know that and I've been around this for almost 11 years now, so it's been a long, a long road for sure, and so I do want to talk about the book. I want to talk about your podcast and kind of what led you to writing the book and all that, but before that we are going to take a quick break. Did you want to create awareness about concussions? You can check out our entire clothing line through the link in the episode description or go to our website, postconcussioninkcom and click awareness merch from t-shirts, sweaters, tank tops and multiple designs, including the podcast. Nothing Mild About a Concussion and more.
15:33
Make sure to pause this episode right now and order yours before you forget. Just like I would Welcome back to the post concussion podcast with myself, bella Page and today's guest, roberta Campbell Paige, did have to run out just because of you know, health and work, so it'll just be the two of us for now. But what I really wanted to talk about was what led you to reading the book or writing the book. I read the book. She looks fine.
Roberta
Guest
16:05
Yeah. So I'll tell you what it was about. A year or so after her accident and I just thought that's when I just had to start doing so much research and I was in the. Both of us were in support group and I could see that others were struggling the same as she was and or else I might not have understood this as well, because it was very confusing. I didn't understand it, and seeing others that were going through the same thing has helped so so much. But I thought this can't be it. This can't be what we're going to deal with for the rest of our lives.
16:49
So I started digging in. I thought what can we do? What can I do as a caregiver? Is there, what can I do to help her? And it would just was like one thing after the other which she's always been not always, but been very healthy. The last few years she was in health education and so and she was very, very healthy right up to her accident and actually right after the accident she just wasn't, she just wanted pizza and milkshakes and just whatever.
17:27
So I had been on a health journey myself and I had made little changes, but then this opened up. I was like, all right, we got to figure this out. So I became she's vegetarian and so I became more. No, I'm not total vegetarian, but I do eat a plant based diet and I do eat some some fresh seafood and I will have a little bit of chicken, and it's been years since I've had red meat. So so there's. I made the changes and I started seeing all of these things that we were doing actually started helping her a little bit.
18:07
Like I had to have that better understanding of everything, and I was like I have to tell my story, I have to tell people Like I didn't understand this and they don't understand it. People didn't understand it because people don't understand it, because people would. They would look at her and they they said she looks fine, she looks fine, you know, she should be able to go right back to school. And I was like oh my gosh. And like she said I don't think anyone can understand that. And at this time I had been journaling the whole time, not thinking I was going to write a book, until a year or so into it. And yeah, it was probably gosh, it was at least two years into it. And so then I started reading every book I could get my hand on too, because I wanted to see and understand it. And I was like this, is it? Like maybe, maybe I can write a book, one others to understand? So what's interesting is that I didn't tell a lot of people about it because I mean, I'm not a writer and so and actually I didn't even go to college. I've been a hairstylist for over 30 years, and so me writing a book sounded kind of crazy. And I mentioned it to a couple of people and they're like really, but I mentioned it to the, I shared it with a very close friend of mine and she introduced me to an editor of a publishing company. And I know that everything happened exactly how it was supposed to, and so that is how this became about.
19:51
And I started writing the book and in the process I was like look, paige, do you think there is any way that you could tell your story? Because I think it would be so good if people could see, because I could see some books out there, but they weren't from both sides, they weren't from the caregiver and the patient, and so I was like let's, if you can do this, let's do it. And I'm going to tell you. She was like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, absolutely.
20:19
And then, when it came down to like the end, when she had to have all of her stuff in, I was a little concerned. I mean, I was a little worried it didn't look. It wasn't looking so good, I thought, oh my gosh, I don't know if she's going to be able to do this. And because I saw, like her notes and how everything looked, and she, somehow, she pulled it through at the very end. And that's kind of how I think her brain has changed too with things, and so we, we put this together as a team effort and that's how it's been now for the past few years.
20:57
So on September 9th of 2022, we released the book. So that was four years after her accident. We didn't know what was really going to come of this and you know, I expected everything to happen so quickly and it didn't. And now things, everything just keeps opening up, and we've actually been asked to be keynote speakers at the University of Dayton here in Cincinnati, ohio, and it's actually next month now. So, and and I have actually been a keynote speaker at our publishers event and a women's conference that I just attended in New York City, and so it's really opened up a world that I didn't even see come in.
Bella
Host
21:51
I like the perspective that it comes from both of you, because I read the book the year perspective reminded me a lot of my own mom, because she really was the one that was around me the most. She was the one dealing with my anger lash outs, my like goaways leave me alone. She dealt with a lot of that, more than anyone out of my entire family, including my partner, and you know it's different looking back on it, on how hard it was, but I couldn't imagine going through it because it was so hard on me. But I remember getting to the point where I was a little better and I felt guilty. I had a lot of guilt for my mom, for the people helping me, because I always felt like I was such a burden on them and that took me a long time to get through because I could always see it in her face in a different way, like she'd always try to hide it when I'd like come down the stairs and collapse. But I know it's a lot harder to do than it actually. I like had this issue where I could only do about four steps at a time. So I'd like do four and lay down, do another four or five and lay down, and so it kind of worked directly across from where the laundry room is, so I would come and lay on the stairs while she would like be walking around the house doing things, and I think it was hard for her because I really couldn't get up. It was just me like that was me trying to socialize as much as I could, and so reading the book and kind of getting your perspective gave me a lot of different kind of memories came up. Some of it was actually hard because I was like, oh, I forgot about my mom going through that, because I was very similar to Paige in some ways. I was in a room for about two years with headaches and things like that. So I definitely understand that and I love that it's open up doors.
23:36
I think sometimes when we try to do something like write a book, we don't know what's going to happen. We don't know if it's going to explode. We don't know if it's going to be like oh, we're going to be doing this for the rest of our lives. You really don't know what path you're going to get put on. And it's so much anticipation because it takes so much longer than anybody realizes to get books out other than those, like serial authors, who just pump out a book every six months, but everybody else it takes a lot longer, and so the book is out. I know Paige has been singing, so do you want to talk a little bit about what's next for both of you?
Roberta
Guest
24:10
So it's interesting, people you know talk about like her singing, and but I will tell you Because, as you know, the thing about that's the one thing that she truly loved. She's just like I love to sing, and so I'm like, okay. And then you started right, yeah, yeah and so, and she had been singing for a lot of her life and I thought, well, if this is the one thing that she loves, I support her. And Also, you were talking about being at home with your mom and this and that, and we've just learned to be very respectful of each other. And it was very difficult for me because she sleeps later and People don't understand that. But I had to understand that and I'm respectful of that and I'm tried when we're in this little apartment. But do you know what? I looked back? I mean, I was pissed off and she was pissed off at where we were.
25:11
But this journey has actually this has totally changed our lives in so many ways for the better.
25:20
Now, I just think it's very important. Obviously, her health is important, my health and my well-being and there were things that I had to learn. We respect each other, but to the point to where we have to say, look, you know the boundaries and and not in saying you're not going to look, I don't like it when you do this and I can see you're having Anxiety and these things. So give her space, step back and whatever I needed to do, and so I have supported her and with her music and her singing and just doing what she loved, I mean, and this for me, you know, has turned into gosh. I actually contributed to another book and in this journey I decided I invested in myself and I hired a life coach and mentor and went through the process and I'm telling you what I Don't know, what I would have done if I wouldn't have gone through this, because I really dug in and studied myself and personal development and learning to love myself and accept myself, and so speaking engagements and More books probably.
Bella
Host
26:40
I get it. I grew. I have the cookbook out post-concussion lifetimes. We've kind of changed the way it's getting released now, but I get it. I got like a war. I guess in total that will be out within the next 10 years, hopefully so. Yes, I definitely get it.
Roberta
Guest
26:55
So amazing, but it's just opened up a world that we both ever like. There is a big world out there and it's beautiful, and we know that when what we're doing is helping others and serving others, but we, you don't give every bit of you. I mean, the first thing that you do is take care of yourself first. You know that, and Myself and Paige especially, but taking care of you, and then you have enough to give and to help others and letting these things just kind of Kind of come, come to you Absolutely.
Bella
Host
27:31
Yeah, I really like the boundaries part with Paige and living together at the beginning and you know it's. I think it was a little different just for my mom and I, because I was like 15, Haha, when all this started. So it's not like I had. I didn't even think I knew how to cook more than craft dinner at the point, Maybe some pasta and soup. But she was like, or still like I hadn't moved out yet.
27:55
I had moved to show jump, but every time I moved out to show jump I still was living with parents or a coach that still did a lot of that stuff like laundry. I hadn't adulted yet, as a lot of people use the word. But there is a lot to go through and learning what to ask when not to ask. You know we definitely have moments where my mom would ask if I was okay and I'd be like you know I'm not okay, so stop asking. And you know we go through those moments and lots of things like that and you and Paige have shared quite a bit today. But your journey and your story and the book is truly wonderful. I highly recommend it and so is there anything else you'd like to add before we end today's episode?
Roberta
Guest
28:35
You know, I guess my biggest message for people is just, you know, don't wait. If there's something that you want to do, don't wait, because we don't know. We just we live our lives and we don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. And if there's something that you love whether that's singing or writing, or standing on a stage or whatever it means, whatever it may be, you know, pursue your dreams, figure out what you love and pursue it. Just take one step in front of the other, one day to the next day, and really enjoy and love your life and just take care of yourself the healthiest that you can, because I'm going to tell you, I'm healthier now than I've ever been.
Bella
Host
29:28
I feel younger and more vibrant and I'm telling you, if I can do it, I know anybody can do it- I love that and I love you know really enjoying your life and focusing on that, even when ill Really changed my life for really, you know, refocusing Okay, what am I doing that I'm not loving and of course, there's going to be aspects of your life that you don't always enjoy Right, really focusing on things that I love, like helping people with all the concussions and all that. It really has changed my life, and so I really want to thank you for joining today and thank Paige, even though she's no longer with us right now, for sharing some of your life after Paige's brain injury.
Roberta
Guest
30:09
Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for having us, Bella.
Bella
Host
30:14
Need more than just this podcast. Be sure to check out our website postconcussioninccom To see how we can help you in your post concussion life, From a support network to one-on-one coaching. I believe life can get better because I've lived through it. Make sure you take it one day at a time.
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