Finding Happiness with PCS
Show Notes:
Imagine feeling trapped in a dark cloud, with no apparent way out. I've been there, living through the despair of depression. I'm sharing my personal journey with mental health challenges and how I've learned to find joy, even in the darkest of times. I'll be unveiling my strategies that can help you too. From advocating therapy to embracing simple actions like making toast (if you've listened for a long time you may know the toast story well), we're exploring the power of small steps towards happiness.
Now, what if I told you that combating mental illness is possible? It's okay to feel the way you do, but there are ways to make life less overwhelming. I'll be shedding light on my battle with hormone changes and what's been working for me. The path to happiness often involves trial and error, but every step you take is a victory. And remember, you are not alone!
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Concussion Connect is a great place to feel less alone. I'm so happy to feel like I don't get judged for my situation, I can ask questions, give my opinion, and be honest without being stressed that someone will tell me I'm wrong or making it up. Thank you so much Bella, I love it here! - Member
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Please note episode transcriptions may not be 100% accurate!
Bella Paige
Host
00:03
Hi everyone. I'm your host, Bella Paige, and after suffering from post concussion syndrome for years, it was time to do something about it. So welcome to the Post Concussion Podcast, where we dig deep into life when it doesn't go back to normal. Be sure to share the podcast and join our support network, Concussion Connect. Let's make this invisible injury become visible. The Post Concussion Podcast is strictly an information podcast about concussions and post concussion syndrome. It does not provide nor substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. The opinions expressed in this podcast are simply intended to spark discussion about concussions and post concussion syndrome.
01:07
Welcome to episode number 122 of the Post Concussion Podcast, with myself, Bella Paige, and it's just me again today. This is the last solo episode for a little bit, and it's just here because something really important came up and I wanted to talk about it, and it's important to me and it's probably something you can relate to, so I just want to talk about it. So, if you do notice that this episode isn't on YouTube it's because this episode wasn't planned and I'm super sick. So if my voice sounds funny it probably sounded funny last week too it's because I lost my voice. So I don't want to not do a podcast episode because of it, but I just sound a little unique compared to what I usually sound like here and there. So don't forget to check out our YouTube. We will be posting old episodes on YouTube clips because I have tons of episodes with video backlog to upload. So make sure you check that out anyways and subscribe. But let's get to today's episode.
02:07
So today's topic is kind of that feeling that I've been feeling lately. Now I feel like this because I did a big medication change for hormones and it has been really hard. Honestly, it's been one of the hardest things I've done in a while and that's because of a few things. It's kind of made me an emotional mess. Number one I cry all the time. Depression has come back more than I've dealt with in a long time, and so I was just kind of shocked with it and kind of felt sad a lot, and trying to get through that took me a lot of energy and just kind of feel stuck, like my brain, my body, wants to be the opposite of happy, like if I could just lay in bed. That's what it wants to do. So I just kind of wanted to go back and talk about how that can happen to any of us.
02:59
I kind of explain it as like feeling like I'm getting sucked down, like I'm trying to climb out, but the bad thoughts, or just that feeling of not feeling great, is just not letting go. Some people might explain this as feeling like they're drowning. Maybe it's a dark cloud. I used to feel like that, a lot like a weight on my shoulders. Right now it kind of feels like I'm just being sucked in all Like quicksand. You ever see quicksand? As a kid I thought it was really relevant to life and then you never cross it ever. So, yeah, quicksand kind of feels like quicksand and so I kind of feel like I just can't get out of it. And I really noticed how stuck I was in it. And I know it's from all the hormone changes, but it doesn't mean I can't, that I don't need to address it.
03:40
It really started from that. But I was laying in bed and, as you may know, a lot of this is worse at night and in the morning usually, cause things are quieted down, you have time to think about how you're doing and all of a sudden you're not doing so well. So for me, I was laying in bed and I'm like super upset. I'm like why am I so upset? Why can't I just be happy? Like I was like what is going on that's so upsetting right now, and I couldn't think of anything. And so I changed my mindset and I was like you know what, why can't we just be happy? And I just felt like this rush of relief and I know it's not that simple, but sometimes it's that simple in a moment. Sometimes it's just that mindset of can I just be happy right now, so that I don't have to be, you know, so upset all the time like I was feeling so definitely something to consider. I changed my mindset but you know, when I woke up in the morning, I was back to where I was, and I'm sure many of you have felt like this before.
04:42
So I really want to talk about how to get out of that, how to get out of like that dark cloud, the wave and I'm not saying it goes away in a day, I'm just saying that we could definitely do something to help brighten up our days. Get up and do something, even while we're ill. There is no reason why you can't be happy while you're ill. I'm not saying you're gonna be happy all the time, but there's no reason why you can't find happiness. The first thing I really want to talk about is you need therapy. Probably. If you're really feeling down every day, then therapy, medications, those are all options. But right now I really want to focus on what you can do otherwise. How about let's decide that what we want is happiness, despite the fact that our thoughts are telling us the complete opposite? It's what we want, okay, great, but we don't know how to get there.
05:34
So a good thing to do is get up and do something. Now, this can be something from making toast, as you may have heard my story before walking up and down in a driveway, doing yard work, cleaning something. I don't care if you go to a dollar store and buy a bunch of crafts and use them once. Go spend $15, do something. Get up, get moving.
06:00
And I think it's really hard, because sometimes we don't realize how much we're not getting up and moving and we're really determined to just not do anything and we just feel stuck, like we fight against every suggestion because we say they don't understand, and people around us probably don't understand. But I'm telling you to get up and do something. I'm gonna be the mean one here, because sometimes we need that extra push of just getting told to go do something. I'm just saying it has to be something. It could be whatever you want, but the power of moving can be really helpful, even if it's you like to work out. Go to the gym, move some weights into a quiet room at the gym, work out there. Maybe you have shoes with exercise, who cares if you just go to the gym and lay there and stretch? You got there, you did something, you moved.
06:46
Maybe you really like working on things in the garage? Well, you know what? Maybe power tools is in your best friend right now, but they're insured. There's lots that you can do without them. So you could tidy up, you could clean, you could polish something, you could use hand tools. There's options.
07:02
So try to think around what your brain is telling you that you can't do, because, I get it, you're gonna have symptoms. They might flare up and maybe it feels impossible. But the more we let that impossible win, the less we can do things. It can take over and it takes one day at a time, like you're gonna get up one day and you're gonna do all these things. Maybe you got up today, you went for a walk, and maybe you go to work too and all these things, and then you're laying in bed and it starts over.
07:29
You're miserable, you're sad, you're upset about how much you're struggling, and that's what I mean. This is an everyday thing, because habits take time. To create happiness can be a habit. You have to change your mindset and it's not gonna happen in a moment, but you have to start somewhere. So let's start with one thing today, and maybe something else in two days and something else in three days, and in a few weeks it'll be even bigger. And if you're working and you have kids and stuff, maybe read your kids your favorite story from your childhood. Maybe do something fun with them that's really low-key, like arts and crafts find some boxes in the house and build a fort. It doesn't have to be overly complicated, it's just getting your mind on something else other than the fact that you can't do things or that you're struggling because you are. But it doesn't mean you can't be happy while you are struggling, and I want you to realize that you can be.
08:24
A great solution could be putting music on. A lot of times when we're really sad. I know I have a bad habit of this we put on really depressing songs. I've actually been working on clearing these songs out of my song lists on my phone and working on listening to more like uplifting songs, because we get this habit of oh, I'm really sad, so I listen to sad music. But sometimes tricking our brain into listening to the opposite can be really helpful. The first few songs you'll probably not enjoy because you're like I'm not in the mood for this, but eventually you might become in the mood and maybe you want to dance it out.
08:57
If you have trouble dancing, you can dance sitting down. I'm telling you to get moving. Small movements, big movements. Dance for five minutes in your kitchen alone. Do it with someone. Dance in the bathroom, dance with your kids. Just get moving. Find joy somewhere in your life, even if you're alone, even if you're surrounded by family. Find it, because if we don't go looking for it, it doesn't come. Because if we get stuck in this mode, we get sucked into this quicksand and it won't let us up and the only way we're gonna get out is if we climb out.
09:31
And I know it sounds really harsh when I say you can do this and I'm telling you to go do it, even though I'm sure your brain's telling you I can't do that. I can't do that. I have this symptom. This is. I'm sure you're right. Do it anyways. Play-up days suck. I know they do. But the only way you find out your limits is by testing them. I don't come screaming at me after this episode, I'm just saying test them out, find out what your limits are. We create our own limits in our brain, but what even are they? The more you limit yourself, the worse it's gonna get. The more you isolate yourself, the worse it's gonna get. The less you do, the worse it's gonna get. It's been proven. You have to keep doing things. It's why physical therapy is so evident. It's why they encourage therapy at the beginning of concussion recovery now. So because they've proven that doing something can really benefit you Now.
10:19
I know, with the holidays coming up and things like that, it can be really tough. So don't forget that. You know, let's get in this habit now, before seasonal depression comes, to try to help fight that, and I'm not saying it's going away. I know how this works. I've had mental illness for a long time and I know. This time I know where it's coming from. But it doesn't mean it's any less work to get out of it. I still have to do work. I still have to do it every day.
10:47
For a while I'm working on getting out of bed, doing something, being active. Right now I'm doing crochet. Now sometimes this has come up on Conquestion Connect a few times with people having trouble finding hobbies. I get it. It's really hard to find things that you're passionate about, especially if you're a really active person before. But sometimes it's just taking bigger hobbies that you're into and shrinking them down or coming up with something new that you just can tell yourself is temporary and maybe you'll fall in love with it. Maybe you won't. For me, crochet's been great. I'm making bears right now for Christmas gifts.
11:22
I love my grandma hobbies. As I've been told, they are cold and that's okay. I love puzzles, I love crochet, I like coloring and all these things. What these hobbies can also be great for is that quiet time right before bed where you go to sit in bed and all of a sudden you're flooded with all these emotions again. So sometimes crochet for 30 minutes, set a timer, coloring for 10 minutes something like that can kind of just de-stress your mind before you go to bed.
11:51
And of course there's social media, which you can scroll through and like I'm not against social media, I'm just seeing. Social media is full of our wins. So just be careful on it. If you are feeling down it can make things worse. But remember, if you can scroll through TikTok, all the fast moving videos, the words, the music, the text, if you can scroll through that many videos for an hour and a time go by, then you can do a lot more than you're letting yourself do, because think of how many brain functions that's taking to do. It's not mind-numbing, you're using your mind to go through it. So put TikTok down and do something else. Do something that will actually create joy in your life.
12:31
If that doesn't work, headspace is a great solution with sleepcasts, putting music on when you sleep, sometimes watching your favorite movie before you go to bed, to kind of create good thoughts, things like that. Just try to find joy in the smallest things. Put your favorite seasoning on your food five days in a row. Make your favorite meal from being a kid every day. It doesn't always matter what it is, it just has to be something. It has to be proactive. It has to be you telling yourself to do it, because you're not going to do it without thinking. So you have to tell yourself I'm going to do this, I'm going to help myself, I'm going to get out of this quicksand, I'm going to move that dark cloud, I'm going to get out of this water. I can do it and I believe you can, because I know you can.
13:16
Mental illness is something that you can fight. It's something that is chemically changing in your brain, but it is something that you can fight with every day. But if you don't fight it, it will take over, because I've had it take over. And you might feel like, oh, if I just changed my mindset, it's not enough and that's where the actions really help. So don't forget about those. And you might feel like, why can't I just feel happy? It's okay to feel the way you're feeling.
13:41
I'm not saying it's not okay. You're ill, you're sick, you're struggling. Pcs is very tough. It'd be very emotional. But I'm also telling you that life doesn't have to be as hard as it is. I'm saying that things can be better. And you can tell me a thousand reasons on why you can't do something and I will give you a thousand and one on why you can. So if you have problems with trying to do things, send me a message.
14:07
Concussion Connect is a great way to communicate with me. I have tons of people message me every day and I give solutions, ideas. There's always ways around things. You just have to kind of. Sometimes you need an outside perspective on how to do something with your symptoms and that's okay. That's what Concussion Connect is here for. So don't be afraid to go on there.
14:27
Don't forget that just because you had a good day yesterday, you're going to wake up the same way You're going to. Maybe you'll wake up happy. Maybe you'll wake up even sadder, but that's okay. You're going to tell yourself, you know what, take steps to get better and you're on the right track because you're listening to this podcast and that means you care about yourself and, honestly, that's the first step to getting a lot better. And you know what? I'm climbing out of this quicksand with you, with all these hormone changes, and it's been awful, honestly, really awful.
14:57
I don't like it at all. It's like my brain wants to be miserable, and so I'm fighting it too, and that's why I'm making teddy bears. Those are my work breaks. I've set like a half an hour, like a few times in the day, to crochet, and you know what? That's what works for me. Maybe something else will work for you. Maybe reading Reddit funny posts is what works for you. It doesn't matter, just find something that helps. And maybe it takes a lot of trial and error and maybe that's where the fun is. But don't forget to reach out if you need it. And don't forget you can be happy even though you're ill. I don't care if it feels impossible, because I know it's possible. Need more than just this podcast. Be sure to check out our website, postconcussioninccom to see how we can help you in your post concussion life, from a support network to one-on-one coaching. I believe life can get better because I've lived through it. Make sure you take it one day at a time.
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