The Story Behind The Podcast
Show Notes:
Welcome to the Post Concussion Podcast, a space to discuss and learn about life after a concussion, where we are aiming to make the invisible injury more visible! In this first episode, your host Bella, shares some of her background and her personal experiences of concussion, talking about the various head injuries she has sustained in her life and their after-effects.
The main takeaway from this episode, and one that we will return to in future discussions, is the need to speak up and talk about the truth of an injury. Many of Bella's issues may have been avoided through a more proactive and healthy approach. By smiling through terrible discomfort and worrying signs, you run the risk of ignoring your body's message to seek help and address an issue, so do not cover up what is going on!
This episode also touches on the relationship between concussion and mental health and how head injuries can lead to problems beyond the physical symptoms. Bella experienced this after having to give up activities she loved, needing to stay home for extended periods when she wanted to be at school. These are common experiences for those suffering from concussions and we hope that through this platform we can connect some of these dots and create more awareness around this important topic.
Tune in and remember to subscribe for future episodes!
Key Points From This Episode:
The causes of concussion and the variety of recovery period lengths.
Education needed on this topic and the need to extend to family members.
The effect that a concussion can have on mental health and how this is often overlooked.
Sharing the truth with those around you — avoiding pretending and covering up.
Connecting with the podcast and sharing your story, no matter what your connection to concussion.
A brief breakdown of Bella's injuries; a snowboarding accident and falling from a pony.
How neglecting the effects of these injuries led to a worse and worse condition for Bella.
Going to college, lying about recovery, and the resulting complete blackout that occurred.
Eventually taking a break from sports and putting health first
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Transcript - Click To Read
[INTRO]
[00:00:00] BP: Hi. I’m your host, Bella Paige. Welcome to the Post Concussion Podcast; all about life after experiencing a concussion. Help us make the invisible injury become visible.
[DISCLAIMER]
[00:00:17] BP: The Post Concussion Podcast is strictly an information podcast about concussions and post-concussion syndrome. It does not provide, nor substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice, or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. The opinions expressed in this podcast are simply intended to spark discussion about concussions and post-concussion syndrome.
[EPISODE]
[00:00:58] BP: Welcome to today's episode of the Post Concussion Podcast, with myself, Bella Paige. Today's topic, what this podcast is all about and who I am? I understand that head injuries come from everywhere. Most of mine from being in sports. All of them were from sports, actually. Yours could be from a car accident, domestic violence, work, being in the military, or maybe you just slip and fell down the stairs. It doesn't matter where it came from.
Handling post-concussion syndrome, which is what lots of people end up dealing with, because we don't all heal in two weeks, or three months as they often recommend when you go to the hospital. That didn't happen for me. It happened the first few times, but not after so many hits. It can be really hard to deal with, because your ability to function changes. You can't go to school. You can't go to work. You have trouble parenting your kids. Your relationship is suffering. The lights are too bright. The noise is too noisy. Everything changes.
I can't read a book. I still can't read a book to this day after eight years of post-concussion syndrome. I suffer reading majorly. That's okay, because that's why you're here to listen about how we can control these triggers. I’m not a health expert and never claim to be, but I do understand what it's like to live with post-concussion syndrome, because I’ve lived with it for a long time, almost half of my life now, actually, which is scary, but that's okay.
I also understand that we don't need to just educate the individual's suffering. You need help if you are suffering and I totally understand that. I needed help and I didn't know where to find it. Also, parents, coaches, siblings and partners need help, because you don't understand what they're going through. How could you? You can't see it. They're smiling and laughing at dinner and then crying that night, because they're in pain. Or, they're great one day, because their symptoms are low. Then the next day, they can't even open their eyes.
It's really important that we all understand what everyone is going through, especially with this invisible brain injury, considered a minor traumatic brain injury, but there's nothing minor about a concussion. I’m going to say that a million times, because there's nothing minor about it. There's nothing minor about having to make a career change. There's nothing minor about having to completely retire from a sport that you love, because that's what I had to do. It killed my mental health. And mental health is missed. It is so missed in the concussion world and I want to make that clear. Your mental health matters.
It's not just about the physical symptoms. All those physical symptoms can also affect your mental health. I had a headache every day for almost seven years. Seven years of headaches. How do you feel happy when you're going through that, is what I always thought? There is ways to do that, but I didn't have the tools to do it. No one was seeing it, because I wasn't talking about it. I was keeping everything to myself and smiling through it, which is the worst thing to do.
Tell the truth, because the people around you are the ones who are going to help you through it, hopefully. If they're not, please reach out. I am also here for you at all times. Mental health is real. It can be really dark, concussions. Because as we talk about it, the changes that happen in your life, I used to love to read books, as I mentioned. I used to love to ride horses more than absolutely anything in the world. Never thought I’d do anything else with my career, actually. It did not help my mental health. I was in the dark, because I felt dark about everything. I want to keep this light, because it's not just about all the sad stuff, because there's so many changes you go through and I’m doing something I never thought I would do and that's okay, because I’m now helping people, which is a great thing for me, because it also helps me.
If you ever want to be a guest and help share your story as a parent, a sibling, or an individual who's suffering, or maybe your whole career is also helping individuals with concussions, I’d love to share your story. Because the more we can share, the more we can educate people, the better. Because people didn't know enough when I was going through it and they still don't know enough now. Invisible injuries are tough to explain. The more we educate people, the better it'll get.
Talking about all these injuries that lots of people have sustained, I’d like to start with some of my injuries that I had. I like to start with one, because it was the one where I didn't even realize what had happened and neither did my parents. I was snowboarding and I was going down a ski hill, local hill. Nothing big. And I was racing my friend. We decided to meet in front of a jump. I got to the front of the jump and I sat there and didn't think much about it. Then, someone flew over that jump; someone who is well over 10 years older than me and they landed on top of me. Then we fell down the hill. Well, rolled down the hill, I guess, is more accurate.
Then I limp back to the chalet, because I told them I didn't want help to get back, because I was a stubborn kid. Then I went to dance that night and my knee hurt. I didn't realize that there was something wrong with my head. My coach called my mom and said, “I think there's something wrong with Bella. You should probably come get her.” There was something wrong with me. I had a concussion. I wasn't acting like myself. I never thought, because my knee hurt. That's where we miss head injuries often, because we focus on other parts of our body.
Then, I had another concussion. The injuries seemed more significant. The brain injury, it does not matter if you lightly bump your head, or if you're someone who is in a crazy car accident that looked like it was out of a movie. It doesn't mean your symptoms are going to be worse. Don't be discouraged if someone who you knew had a huge injury, it seemed like, and you had a minor one and you're the one still suffering. That's okay. That's how this works sometimes. Don't let it get to you.
I had another fall and I was riding my pony. We were just cantering down the rail of the arena, which is just on the edge and never thought much about it. I did this every day. She tripped. I went headfirst into the dirt and so did she, actually. She fell on top of me. She stood up. I stood up. I made sure that she was okay, no scuffs, no cuts, no nothing. She was totally fine. My knee really, really hurt. I was covered in dirt, but I brushed it off and then hopped back on. That is something I should have never done.
I rode for another hour and I paid for it all summer long, because my head hurt so much. I didn't know how to handle it. Then it went away. I got really into riding and I moved away from home and I was competing. I got a few head injuries here and there from different sports as well. Then, I started ignoring the truth. My head was hurting. That wasn't normal. Your head should not hurt every day of the week.
Then, I started taking Advil or Tylenol here and there, to get through the day. Didn't really think much about it. Didn't tell anyone about it, because I didn't live at home, so it was really easy to hide from my parents. I wasn't really sleeping at night. I remember trying to do yoga, until 4 in the morning a couple times, because I didn't know how to fall asleep. I would try crazy things at night, but I couldn't fall asleep, because my head hurt.
Then I let it catch up with me to the point where I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't walk, I couldn't stand. Everything hurt. I couldn't do anything, because I had finally slowed down. I had moved home, so I wasn't competing. I didn't have the adrenaline rush. I was home for school and then I couldn't go to school, because the lights were too bright and it was really loud there. I couldn't read and I couldn't remember things that I had read and my memory was not working properly the way I wanted it to. I was suffering and my parents started getting me to go see specialists and I was in the emergency department all of the time, because of the pain.
Then, I was told to just drop out of high school. “Maybe you should try again later.” Or, “How about we just take a break from everything for now?” Which was not my personality. I love to learn, so I pushed through. I did get a lot of help in high school and a lot of help in university. I can tell you all about how to do that. If you need someone to vouch for the truth, I will be there for you, because it's so important that teachers understand what you're going through.
I had one teacher try to actually remove me from school, because I wasn't there. I was completing my work, but I was never at school. Where I’m from, you're supposed to be at school so many days a week. Otherwise, you're not considered a student, even though I had a doctor's note for all those days.
I was so lucky to have certain teachers that did understand when I stood up and said, “I think I need to go home.” They'd be like, “Yeah, no worries. Go home.” That helped me so much to get through it. I went through university. I did get a head injury in university. It really hurt, because I ended up in an ambulance again. I scared myself. I was really afraid that everything was going to get way worse, because things had started to get a little better. Not the headaches. That was my biggest problem.
I was terrified. I think I scared my family, but I definitely scared myself more. Because I had moved away from home, because I told myself I was better. Told my parents I was better. I told everyone that I was doing great. I was lying. I was not doing great at all, actually. I was still suffering from a headache every single day. I was just getting really, really good at hiding it, because I could smile through anything. Do not do this. This is my number one recommendation. Do not smile through it. Tell the truth.
I moved away from home. Started riding competitively more. Went to university. Then, my headaches were starting to get worse and I was already not going to class very much, because all I wanted to do was ride. I blacked out. Completely blacked out. Not in the way that I blacked out where I fainted. Just everything went dark. My vision disappeared for hours in my apartment alone. I couldn't call anyone, because I couldn't see. I remember just listening to the TV, terrified.
I called my mom and the time change was a couple hours. She calmed me down. Then, I decided the week or two after that I should probably move home, because going through that alone was not something I could do and I didn't want to sit in hospital rooms alone either. I moved home and that summer after was when I got that another injury, where I ended up in an ambulance. I got a few more head injuries in there, because I really like sports. I’m a competitive person and I’m also just very athletic. I like to do things outdoors. I like to ride snowmobiles. I like to go skating. I like to play baseball. I love to do everything. I like to go on hikes. I like to be active.
When you're someone who suffers through post-concussion syndrome, this can be very hard. It really affected my mental health, quitting riding. I just refused to, which was terrible. After university, I graduated, which was fantastic. I managed to do it on time, which I never thought I would. I had a lot of help. I’ll tell you more about that later. I decided, I’m going to try one more time. I’m going to move away, because I’m in a small town, where I’m from, so there's nothing here for horseback riding competitively, so I moved away again.
I got a few horses lined up. I was riding them and I lasted a month, until I was bent over a bucket, because the jarring of riding up and down, landing off fences, all of that was just way too much for my head. Then, I spent another month contemplating what other horseback riding sports I could do, that would maybe cause less jarring than show jumping. Then, I decided that I need to take a break, because I needed to put my health first for the first time ever. I spent a year trying different sports and I was like, “Maybe I’ll find something else I would love to do and go to the top with.” It never really happened. And that's okay. It just took me some time to learn that this isn't for me right now. Maybe I’ll be able to ride in the future, or maybe I should probably just stay off a horse forever. We'll see. Depends on who you ask in my family.
A year and a half later, you're here with me with the Post Concussion Podcast, which is a part of Post Concussion Inc., which is also a website all about handling post-concussion syndrome. I am so glad to be here. It took me so long to learn what my career should be. I always talked about helping people and I never knew how. I’m so excited to get to know all of you more and just educate everyone and also, educate myself, because as I talk to people, I also learn every day, which is just fantastic.
Welcome to the Post Concussion Podcast with myself, Bella Paige. Just do one day at a time and try to reach out for the help that you need. There is nothing wrong with telling people about your mental health. Talk to someone. I talked to a therapist and it saved my life. Don't forget to tune in to the Post Concussion Podcast every Thursday. Bye for now.
[OUTRO]
[00:15:09] BP: Has your life been affected by concussions? Join our podcast by getting in touch. Thank you so much for listening to the Post Concussion Podcast. Be sure to help us educate the world about the reality of concussions, by giving us a share. To learn more, don't forget to subscribe.
[END]
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